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Are Your Psychiatrists Secretly Lying To You?

“TJ, you have a disease. What’s so wrong about having to take medication for the rest of your life?”

Disclaimer: Psychiatrists do help many people. Many of them are highly trained professionals that make a difference in others’ lives. I was studying Psychology for a long time in hopes of becoming a psychologist/psychiatrist. I’ve worked with places such as NAMI (National Alliance of Mental Illness), holding support groups, teaching classes, and giving speeches every now and then.

I’ve also interacted with many people personally who I’ve seen struggle with depression. I kept noticing, however, that many of these people who would try drugs would feel better would eventually have to up their dose or take a new drug to counteract the side effects of the first drug. Many of them would eventually stop altogether.

It wasn’t until my own journey to do whatever it takes to figure out that there was something else going on inside me that was causing me to want to end my life. Psychiatrists are good people, but if these approaches still aren’t working, could it be the approach that is flawed? What if the basis of their practice is flawed? Can people really be cured by a pill? Are we born deficient in a drug engineered by humans? Even if we do take an antidepressant, will the treatment be more effective while using other methods also?  Lets explore some background info on what’s really going on behind the scenes.

Pharmaceutical Companies Make Lots of $$$

Pharmaceutical companies are some of the most profitable businesses today. In 2008, Johnson & Johnson and Pfizer had combined revenues of $111,906,000,000. They had combined profits of over 20 billion dollars.

That’s a pretty massive number. To put that into perspective, Coca-Cola had profits just under 6 billion for 2008. Johnson & Johnson doubled that number in 2008.

They make money, so what? Lots of credible businesses do. But then again, if they could create a cure for depression that wouldn’t require further prescriptions, would they? Or would it make more sense to keep you coming back for more drugs and putting more money in their pocket? Would it make more sense to pay thousands of dollars for lobbyists to keep them in business?

The Truth About the Effectiveness of SSRIs

Why is that over 60% of people who try an SSRI discontinue their medication in under a year?

According to The Mood Cure by Julia Ross, the most common side effects of SSRIs are:

• Nausea
• No Orgasm
• Jittery
• Fatigue
• Disturbed Sleep
• Feeling Emotionally Flat
• Gaining Weight
• Less Interested in Sex
• Negative, even Suicidal Thoughts

What causes these side effects? Side effects are caused by the fact that these are foreign substances that your body doesn’t recognize! Your body tries to eliminate the foreign substance and in turn this causes side effects to occur.

My personal example is with Citalopram (Celexa). It worked amazingly for a few months, then they would have to up the dosage. This went on and on until I became aggressive and angry. I started to become manic and had bipolar episodes, eventually putting me on Lithium. I took lithium for one day and had the worst road rage incident of my life.

Most people, including myself, are led to believe that these drugs are tested by the FDA to ensure their safety. The FDA requires drug companies to provide only six weeks of testing to prove a drug’s safety and effectiveness. According to a writing in the New England Journal of Medicine, “51% of approved drugs have serious side effects not detected prior to approval.”

In fact, according to Talking Back to Prozac by Dr. Peter Breggin, Prozac conducted fourteen studies. Four of which were used to compare Prozac to a placebo, of which only three were used. Of the remaining studies, only two studies were positive about Prozac. In fact, the other eight showed that an older antidepressant, imipramine, was more effective. The FDA only selected the positive studies and excluded the majority of which were negative!

The scariest of all is that there is a possibility that SSRIs such as Prozac, Zoloft, and Paxil can cause irreversible damage. When the human body has an overload of a substance, it automatically starts to down regulate its receptors to balance itself.

For example, if you take large amounts of cortisone, a synthetic adrenal hormone, your own production of this chemical will stop and your adrenals will gradually atrophy.

What could possibly happen if you took an SSRI for 20 years? 40 years? No one knows, because there won’t ever be any studies for that length of time.

Are You Born Prozac Deficient?

Is the cause of your depression (or other mental problems) really from not taking these drugs? What about these other common causes of depression, as listed in Depression-Free, Naturally by Joan Larson:

• Essential fatty acid deficiencies in the brain
• Vitamin and mineral deficiencies or dependencies
• Hypothyroidism
• Hypoglycemia
• Brain allergy reactions to foods (food allergies)
• Buildup of fungal molds or yeast
• Histadelia (elevated histamine levels within the body)
• Buildup of heavy metals in the brain
• Brain damage from alcohol or drugs, prescribed or otherwise

Let’s say you are depressed and begin to take Zoloft when it turns out that you actually have a vitamin deficiency in your brain. You may feel better for a few months, then have to up the dose. Again, you feel better for a few months, but then have to switch medication. You would literally be changing your dose, trying different medications, and ultimately be making your situation worse when all you really need is some Vitamin B6!

My favorite quote from Depression-Free, Naturally is “if there is a drug that is found to heal, there is also a natural substitute that can heal.”

SSRIs work by causing your existing serotonin to be trapped in your synapse, causing your brain to reuse the same serotonin over and over. Did you know that tryptophan, a naturally occurring amino acid, is the only chemical that has the ability to actually produce serotonin in your brain? Better yet, if you aren’t getting enough from your diet, it can be purchased for a decent price?

Your depression isn’t telling you that you need Paxil. It’s telling you that either something is wrong in your life or that you have a biochemical problem. The brain is over 60% fat. Could the fact that you never eat fat or fish possibly be the reason why it isn’t functioning correctly?

Putting It All Together

I don’t want this post to sound as if I am attacking pharmaceutical companies and psychiatrists. I’m simply an unbiased person who’s tried all the approaches to solve my own suicidal depression and have found, like many others, that drugs such as antidepressants have fallen short.

Don’t get me wrong, an antidepressant may be necessary to get you out of the slumps. It was life-saving for me as it allowed me to pick myself up and get to where I am today. However, I believe their real strength is in short-term benefits, and typically should be avoided, if possible, in the long-run. Just my six months of being on Celexa produced severe withdrawal symptoms.

You may be in a situation where natural remedies don’t seem to work, and it’s either take antidepressants or kill yourself. In that case I would encourage you to continue your antidepressant while on the journey to finding the real cause of your blues.

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Zen-Like Secret to Get Anything You Want

Most of depression comes from physiological issues that you can correct.  Other aspects of depression can be solved with the correct sleep, relaxation, food, vitamins, and exercise.  On top of that, we need people that support us.

One aspect that always gave me a hard time was not making enough money.  This is a post about how my thoughts evolved over time on how to actually provide value to the world (and thus make money).

Secret to Get Anything You Want?

I didn’t believe it either. I always knew of the principle through certain religious and spiritual traditions, but never really believed it. If you do it simply to get what you want, it doesn’t work. Paradoxically, it has to be done in an almost zen-like state where you do it simply to do it, not for any other purpose.

I thought that I had to go balls to the wall for my own sake to get anywhere close to put me in the position where I could actually do it. It had to be about me until I had success, then I could give back.

It wasn’t until the 12th book that I read that mentioned it that I realized how powerful it must be. I found it in all the books about millionaires, the people who supposedly have no soul and are “greedy.”

What is the secret?

To Get What You Want, Give It

Give: to present voluntarily and without expecting compensation

Whatever your goal is, there is one thing that will always bring you to success. Giving value.

Success is becoming the person you need to be. You can’t make a million dollars until you become the person that produces a million dollars worth of value.

I hate to admit, but I thought that I had to be ruthlessly selfish to become a successful entrepreneur/business owner.

I decided to train myself to become a giving person instead and all sorts of amazing things have happened.

For one, it just feels damn good to do it.

I had a recent problem with an order from Amazon.com and had to chat with a customer representative. She was awesome. I received an email asking for feedback. As I was about to delete it, I grinned and sent this:

Sydney was amazing. I closed two chat windows previous to talking with Sydney because the others took too long, asked questions I had already answered, and didn’t seem to be getting anywhere.

When I opened the new chat window, I was surprised when Sydney communicated very clearly and got right to the core of the issue. She explained Amazon would refund my order, to which I replied that if I had too that would work, but I really wanted the product because I had free shipping on it.

She replied with this,
“I do understand where you are coming from, however, I do apologize because your item is sold by a seller and fulfilled by Amazon and because the seller’s inventory is constantly changing, we’re not be able to send a replacement but we may only be able to process a refund for this order. But as an exception for you,
when you re-order these items on the website, after the refund has been issued, we will give you free upgraded shipping for your item.
Would that work for you?”

I would never expect such a clearly written response that completely solved the need I was asking for. She demonstrated she understood, explained the situation from her side, then showed me how we could still give me a refund AND get the shipping that I wanted.

She literally solved my problem in a short amount of time, showed empathy towards my concern, and sent me on my way in a kind and timely matter.

Sydney is a great customer service representative and I believe she is a strong asset to your team.

Sincerely,
TJ

I got a sick (healthy?) pleasure out of sending that message, and I felt great for the rest of the day. There is no way that that message would ever benefit me directly.

Becoming a giving person is awesome. Not just because it makes you magnetic to others around you, but it also feels good.

Maybe it is the fact that you radiate more with joy when you give that more positivity will flow into your life. Maybe it is that giving transforms you into a good person that people will trust. All I know is that true giving will benefit your life.

Connecting with Successful People

If you made $200 an hour, received hundreds of emails a day, and saw an email titled “Please Help” that said, “I want to make a million dollars. Tell me how.” Would you even open it?

When you have a million things to do and your niece comes in and asks you to help her cook a meal, you ignore her and tell her you are busy.

Those are perfect examples of people taking value without giving any in return. That is the equivalent of being a black hole of happiness that sucks the life out of everyone around you without dishing out any in return. And we all know that everyone is secretly afraid of black holes.

Let’s say your niece needs you to open up a jar of food and help her cook for 5 minutes. She can either say, “Hey! Help me cook I am hungry!” to which you would close the door and secretly hope it hits her in the face (not really, just using dramatization to keep your attention you asshole) ;).

Or she could say, “Hey I’m cooking some food and would love to make extra for you. You look really busy and I can help you save some time by making you some food and bringing it down to you when it’s ready. Could you come up and open a jar for me real quick and help me get down the pan so I can get started?”

By offering to give first either upfront or after you receive their help, it shows that you value them and aren’t basically trying to rob them of their value.

Whole New World of Possibilities

I had a coworker who had to move into another apartment. She was moving on July 4th and seemed to be in distress.

I offered to help, only because I knew I’d get a sick (healthy?) pleasure from doing it without wanting anything in return.

I woke up early on July 4th and spent half the day helping her. She thanked me profusely afterwards. After hearing about my desire to be an entrepreneur, she then started sharing all her stories about her previous businesses.

She introduced me to her brother who had just moved here from Guatamala because he was making so much money in Guatamala the government hacked his bank account.

Not only did I get my fix for the day of doing a random deed, doors of opportunity opened up that wouldn’t have otherwise.

I took this concept even further to contact a few entrepreneurs I admired. Instead of simply emailing them and trying to get something from them, I offered to work for free.

One responded to my email, thanked me for my appreciation and offered me a project. I took it and he said that if my work saves him time, he will offer me mentoring.

Mentoring from someone who has done exactly what I want to do is invaluable.

There was another entrepreneur who I knew I couldn’t really offer any work, so instead I offered appreciation and evidence that I took his advice and applied it. I told him how much I admired his work and told him specific examples of how I implemented it.

He told me that I can now send him any idea that I have and he will personally respond with whether or not the idea has potential to make money in the long run.

Simply by giving true appreciation, I now can ask someone who was in my same shoes and who’s business is now on the track to making a few million dollars a year whether or not my idea is good before I pour hours of time into it.

The Giving Paradox

Being a giving person makes life so much more enjoyable. Giving by definition implies that you are losing something by placing it in the hands of others. However, instead of being in your head and wallowing in self pity and selfishness, you get to experience the joy of spreading joy. Not only that, but paradoxically you will start getting what you want.

In reality, most of it isn’t a paradox. People will give you what you want if you give them what they want. You can’t find a girlfriend by trying to act cool and relying on her to make you happy. You can only find a girlfriend and get what you want by giving her what she wants, whether that’s excitement or a cute lil cuddle buddy to watch movies with.

That business mentor doesn’t want to be bothered by giving advice to someone he doesn’t know. What he wants is to help someone who he personally connects with, who he can tell has read his stuff and executed, and who is willing to actually apply and do what he suggests.

It is the perfect example of win-win. Life becomes a journey of receiving and giving, every party always winning, and moving forward everyday.

If you want love, give love. If you want help with entrepreneurship, help out a successful entrepreneur.

It’s that simple.

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How I Defeated the Onset of Illness in One Hour

Would you be willing to spend one hour in order to save yourself from being sick for an entire week? What if I told you it also is extremely cheap?

For the past few weeks I’ve been doing nothing but exercising, working, searching for a place to live, dealing with medical bills, etc. all while being sleep deprived. Yesterday I bought some green chard that looked like it was a little old, but decided to try eating it anyway. Bad Idea. I was already fatigued and drained and the rotten vegetable proved to be the tipping point for my immune system. For the rest of the day I felt gross.

I woke up the following day and with the way that I felt I knew a sickness was about to dominate and overtake me. I worked, then worked out while sick (legs of all things) then traveled left and right looking for a place to live. A blanket of fatigue and unhappiness began to wrap itself around me and I felt its impending doom. Then I remembered this giant book of Chinese Medicine I had bought and decided it couldn’t hurt to try it and see for myself if it worked.

Digging through it, I tried the formula. It worked.

UPDATE: I still do this all the time when I start to get sick.

Tea, Cayenne, Ginger, Garlic and Hot Showers

While heating up a cup of water, I cut up fresh ginger (it has to be fresh ginger) and grabbed some cayenne and chamomile tea. I drank two glasses of this concoction.

This alone is enough to get you hot and sweaty, however the book takes it one step further.

You then peel a raw, fresh garlic clove (not garlic powder) and suck on the garlic without chewing.

After consuming your tea and sucking on the raw garlic, you take a hot shower to sweat and open up your pores. I also took a niacin (vitamin B-3) which causes your capillaries to open and blood to flow towards the skin.

My whole body was revved up and hot. I was sweating even in my room which was 67 degrees. Before I knew it I had a ton of energy. In fact, I had so much energy I started working out again (I did the ab workout I was too tired to do at the end of my leg workout earlier). After working out I finished an entire financial application, cleaned my room, prepared my hockey equipment to sell, and prepared everything I needed for the next day all under a few hours. I woke up the next day energized and determined.

So the next time you are getting sick, try this out.

Step-By-Step Process of Dominating the Onset of Illness

• Step 1: Drink hot tea, I prefer chamomile.
• Optional (TJ’s Step): Take a niacin while drinking your hot tea to further open up your pores and aid in elimination. You want regular niacin (not flush free or delayed release) – the kind that will make you “flush” and open up your capillaries.  I personally used Twinlabs Niacin which is under $9.00 with free shipping.
• Step 2: Peel and cut up fresh ginger and add this to your hot tea with cayenne pepper (add as much cayenne as you can handle).
• Step 3: After drinking a few cups (keeping it hot), peel fresh garlic. Suck on the pieces without chewing for 15 minutes.
• Step 4: Take a hot shower (I took mine while sucking on the garlic).

Your body should now be internally hot, sweating out the bad bacteria, and surging with the immune boosting effects of garlic. If you do this early enough when you are catching yourself getting sick, you just might prevent a week of misery.

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5 Common Myths of Depression Debunked

Topics Discussed

0:08 – 1st Myth – Depression is a Disease
1:11 – Having depression for life?
1:20 – 2nd Myth – Depressed People Have Low Willpower
2:12 – How to Describe Depression to a Person
2:41 – Depression Robs you of Willpower
3:28 – 3rd Myth – All You Need is a Pill
4:16 – Does Paxil Cure Vitamin D Deficiency?
4:40 – Antidepressants are a Bigger Decision Than We Think
5:12 – 4th Myth – Labeling it as Depression will Help You
5:40 – Does Feeling Bad Mean You are Getting Depressed?
6:59 – 5th Myth – You Just Need to Meditate/Pray
7:57 – Spiritual Practice is Good, But Still Conquer The Root Cause of Depression

It is a “Disease”

Depression is NOT a disease.  It is a condition. A sign that you need a change. It CAN improve, you CAN reduce relapses, you CAN get better. I was depressed for 11 years! I still experience some deep sadness, but never to the point where I become unable to function for weeks at a time like I used to.

There are so many causes for depression it is mind blowing. Start attacking those first before you label yourself with a disease.

Here are just a few things off the top of my head that can cause depression:

• Sleep Deprivation
• Poor Nutrition
• Digestion Problems
• Low Testosterone
• Thyroid Issues
• Lack of Exercise
• Lack of Meaningful Relationships
• Trauma
• Grief
• Side Effects from Medications
• Stressful Life Events
• Faulty Mood Regulation by the Brain
• Negative Downward Spiral of Thoughts
• Stress

Even if your depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain unrelated to any other areas of your body, hormones, etc. it can still be solved with the right medications.

Depression is tricky because once you are “there” it warps your thoughts to make you think that it cannot be solved. You think it is there “for life” and you are screwed.

I’m not going to spend my life being depressed and neither are you. However, when you try something and think you’ve found the answer, only to crash a few weeks later, over and over again, it is easy to start to believe those thoughts.

I believed them for many years. It is scary to think how close and how much I thought about ending my life during those times. In reality, it likely could have happened. Sometimes I’m not quite sure why it didn’t.

I know if you are depressed and reading this it won’t quite register. That’s okay. Keep pushing forwards, try to regain any possible hope that you have, ask for help, and do whatever it takes to find what you need.

One person may need medication, another may need to adjust their nutrition, another may need to learn to relax and bring down the stress. Others, like me, may need a combination of proper nutrition, exercise, sunlight, relaxation, 8+ hours of sleep every night, healthy relationships, awareness of negative thought patterns, a deeper purpose, ability to express oneself, and a few supplements.

If you still want to believe it is a disease, at least know that it can be cured.

Depressed People Have Low Willpower

Although depression isn’t a “disease,” it is still a very real condition.

People who say that you need to “shake it off” or “snap out of it” either have never actually known someone closely with depression or have never come close to experiencing it themselves.

You can’t blame them for thinking that. When they hear you say you are depressed they hear “I am feeling a little down today” when in reality what you said was, “I’ve wanted to blow my head off for the past 2 weeks but don’t even have enough energy to do that.”

If you have never experienced depression your reality may not be able to stretch far enough to understand. That’s understandable too.

I went skydiving when I was depressed and felt nothing. I landed and didn’t even care. On the drive home I was still miserable. For my friend, that was probably the biggest buzz kill he had ever experienced in his life to drive home with someone after skydiving that didn’t even get stimulation from falling through the sky.

Depression robs you of all your energy. It’s hard to have any willpower left when you had to use it all just to get over the pain of putting your clothes on and the anxiety of talking to the cashier to buy your food.

If you have depression, you need to stop being so hard on yourself. It is okay. You are not a bad person, you just are. Depression does not mean you are weak. If anything, if you come out of depression, you are stronger than the average person who never had to.

When you finally attack that depression, overcome it, and start to relax on the other side you will have an experience that most people will never be able to touch. You will appreciate and understand just how temporary and beautiful this life is because it could always be worse with depression.

Yes, ultimately you are responsible for the quality of your life, but if you are depressed it’s important to accept that it isn’t because of some moral flaw. You need rest, sleep, food, healthy people and time to allow your brain to heal. You need support, professional help, etc.

Depression can grab a hold of you by making you feel terrible and keep you feeling terrible by you believing you are a bad person for feeling terrible. Depression’s great complexity comes from the fact that it reinforces itself.

You feel bad, so you start to feel bad that you feel bad, causing you to feel worse.

It’s a trap and hard to get out of. Sometimes reality becomes warped. Thoughts you have while depressed are not real and do not reflect what is really going on.

You are not a bad person with low willpower when you don’t enjoy being with your family or kids anymore. You have a condition causing you to feel that way and there are certain treatments that can help.

All You Need is a Pill to Feel Better

Again, there is so many causes for depression. Being born prozac deficient doesn’t seem to be one of them, but if you’ve tried everything and an antidepressant works for you long-term, I’m not recommending against it. I’m just saying you should still consider the other options.

Giving someone Paxil when they sleep 3 hours a night, eat at McDeath 4x a day, cram themselves full of ice cream and hang out with toxic people everyday, is counterproductive.

Yes, you CAN have a chemical deficiency. But even if you are taking an antidepressant I would strongly recommend working on areas of your life such as physical health, relationships, etc. while on it.

If you take care of yourself, get enough sleep, like your job/business, have great friends and live a good life yet STILL feel depressed, antidepressants might be your ticket. This is when a pill is really all you need to feel better.

If you eat junk food all day, stay up till 2am and work at a job you hate at 6am for 12 hours everyday, an antidepressant isn’t going to be your long-term solution.

It’s important to realize that an antidepressant is a much bigger decision than our society would lead you to believe. I had a hell of a time trying to get off mine.

Antidepressants can help you and may be necessary. But before you take the plunge and start taking a pharmaceutical pill everyday make sure you discuss the side-effects, weigh the long-term consequences and really make sure it is the right decision for you.

Labeling it as “Depression” will Help You

Saying you “have” depression can help if you are in denial of your feelings. However, if you accept the way you feel, it’s best to not think of yourself as having “depression.”

I used to always think to myself, “Uh oh, I’m getting depressed again. I’m screwed. Its going to be a rough ride” and I’d feed the beast. It would lead to a downward spiral of me being so depressed that all I could focus on was being depressed, and focusing so much on being depressed that I was becoming depressed.

It is okay to feel bad. Now, what is causing these feelings? Are you isolated? Lonely? Have you been getting enough sleep? Food? Time with people you love?

I haven’t had a serious relapse of depression in years. Whenever I feel myself slipping, I take a step back and try to really think about what I need in that moment, that my feelings are indicating something such as that I need rest or a fun night out with friends, rather than that I am now becoming depressed and am screwed.

Take the first signs of your mood turning sour as signs that you need to take action (or inaction) in an area of your life. Maybe you just need to sit and be with yourself for a moment. Maybe you need to assert yourself with your friend who was disrespectful to you.

Thinking that you have depression is a great excuse to allow it to overwhelm you. Instead of thinking that depression is this monster that will overwhelm me and take me for a ride and there’s nothing I can do about it, I view it as something happening to me with clues as to what is causing this reaction.

Sometimes this is even a good thing. It wouldn’t help you out if you couldn’t feel physical pain. How would you ever know if your hand was resting on an oven and doing irreversible damage? Physical pain is a sign that you need to make a change to help yourself.

I now view depression in the same way. Maybe I am starting to feel depressed because I am working at the same job that I hate for too long and I am trying to signal to myself it isn’t working. Maybe I’m feeling depressed because I’ve been staying up past 2:00am and waking up at 8:00am every day.

Surely the depression doesn’t feel good, but if the depression is actually telling me to get some sleep, it saves me from being sleep deprived for 10 more years, which could increase the likelihood of me not-dying.

You Just Need to Meditate/Pray

This is another controversial one. I have used meditation to help me tremendously, but it isn’t a cure-all either.

This is tricky because while I want to advocate taking control by taking the action necessary to achieve what you want rather than waiting for someone or something else to do it for you, I do understand that this might have a special place in people’s lives.

Meditation and praying is good, but thinking it will solve everything can lead to more problems. If it doesn’t work, it could cause you to think you are depressed because you are immoral. If you are meditating or praying and still not getting better, does that mean you lack faith? Are you a bad person after all?

I once meditated during an entire summer for 2 hours a day. I did feel great. I did still get depressed.

This can be an important area of your life, but it is important to realize that it is an area of your life.

If you have found yourself having a hard time overcoming depression it is likely because it is complex and affects many aspects of your life. It is important to not rule out factors such as sleep and eating the right foods.

Meditate and pray if that works for you. Then eat a healthy meal afterwards, and go to bed :).

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Go Get a Therapist Already

Topics Discussed:

0:13 – Debating Getting A Therapist For Myself
0:39 – The Reality of Therapy and the Therapist’s Actual Job
1:30 – What Do You Have to Lose?
1:59 – Depressed Reasoning Stopping You From Getting Help
2:48 – Asking Directly for What You Need

I wake up again in the morning and feel alone.  Nobody wants to help me or hear about what’s going on.

I must suffer alone. As I go through my day, there is no chance I want to ever see a therapist.  All they are are shrinks.  They don’t know how to actually help me.

Plus, I had actually gone to one before. He didn’t cure me. I went to one session and came home still depressed….

Fast forward a few years…

I am in University and thinking about joining a support group but I’m nervous…  I’m the only one that really has depression and suffers as much as I do.

I join anyways, and can’t even express my feelings at all in front of the group because of how nervous I am.

Eventually, the therapist slowly nudges me.  It’s been a couple months since I join the group, but that day he nudges me in a way to where I decide to share…

The group acknowledges me.  Suddenly there are 4 people who have felt the exact same thing.

Whaaaaat.  Other people feel the same way too?

At the end of the year I have two close friends come from that support group.  I still maintain contact with the therapist years later.

I had so many realizations about incorrect thinking I had that the change in myself is immense…

Fast forward another few years…

I have no problem asking for help.  I see therapists for what they are, people to help me help myself.  I actively seek help when I need it and feel no shame what-so-ever.

Why is it that when I was in the depths of my depression, I felt so unsure and afraid of asking for help?  I felt like I shouldn’t ask for help.  Why?!

Ignore Everything You Have Heard about Seeing “Shrinks”

I wish I never had the weird belief that seeking help was weak and wrong.  I would have been able to start fixing my depression much sooner.

Everything you have ever heard in the media or from your friends about getting help or seeing a psychologist is crap.

Yes there are a handful of therapists out there that you won’t connect with or don’t know how to actually help you.

But there are some great therapists out there.

There are two therapists that came into my life to where my life would be completely different today if they hadn’t.

One of them I still email all the time.  Even when I am on the opposite side of the earth, I am still emailing him and getting support.

How to Actually Benefit From Therapy

Thinking that seeing a therapist is stupid is crap.  But also thinking that going to therapy once will cure everything is crap also.

Some people may have already tried therapy and deemed it worthless because they went to a session or two and were still depressed.

I know, because I was one of those people.

The thing with therapy is these people aren’t there to magically cure all the problems you experience..  They are there to help you solve your problems.

The therapist in my support group I talked about earlier in this post was amazing at seeing how I didn’t think I could ask directly for what I wanted.

He would nudge me in uncomfortable ways to share with the group.  When I would give some bullshit story or answer he would call me out for it.  He would ask me why I thought I couldn’t ask for what I needed.

It was such a different experience for me to learn how to ask for exactly what I wanted

I went from beating around the bush with every issue I had to being able to (nervously) walk in and say, “I actually don’t want any advice from any of you today.  I just want you to listen to me for a few minutes.”

I even walked in once and said, “I just need a hug from every one of you.”  Or even better, “I feel extremely nervous asking for some reason, but I just need a hug.”  That kind of stuff was extremely scary for me.

Don’t go into a therapy session thinking that that person is going to cure you, but go in there knowing what you need from them that is going to help you do it and ask them for that.

The biggest benefit I gained from therapy wasn’t quite the perspective the therapist brought to the table, but finally being able to take my wellness in my own hands and being able to ask directly for their perspective when I needed it.

The therapist might nudge you a bit.  Therapy sometimes brings out negative and difficult emotions.  It can be really uncomfortable at times.  That discomfort is what you need to feel to move forward in the right direction to finally become healthy again.

They will actually listen to you so you can express yourself fully.  Trust me, if you are depressed and no one in your life really understands what is going on, “sitting on a couch” while someone listens is invaluable.

If you are depressed They are going to provide you with an outside perspective so you can see things from angles you couldn’t see from before.

Go into therapy with that attitude.  They are going to help me help myself and I can ask for exactly what I want.  Go see a few different therapists until you find one that works.  Ask them if they can meet for 15 minutes to see if you click.

Go Find a Therapist TODAY

I am basically writing this as if I was addressing my past self.

Why are you debating getting help?!

Quit thinking about it.  Quit analyzing it and wondering if it will actually help you.  Just go try it and see!

Years and years of my life were spent feeling like I was worthless.  Years and years of my life I felt horrible and felt even more horrible about trying to get help for feeling horrible.

There is no point in not getting the support you need.

What do you have to lose?

• An hour or two of your time?
• $60?

What do you have to gain?

• Mental wellness?
• Possibly an invaluable connection with someone that cares about your success?
• The support and fuel to finally move you towards actually curing your depression?
• To not feel the way that you do for the rest of your life?
• To learn how to finally ask for help, a skill that is going to carry on for the rest ofyour life?
• Mental wellness?

 

17

If You Don’t Remember This Fact You Will Stay Depressed

Topics Discussed:
0:46 – Traveling Abroad While Depressed
1:30 – Depression Forces You to Be Healthy
1:52 – Not “Believing” We Have to Take Care of Ourselves
2:30 – Trusting Yourself VS Other People’s Opinions
3:01 – Summary of the Truth

I land in my layover in Beijing China.  I have a whole bag full of supplements.

I’m serious.  NOTHING but supplements.  And pretty much every single one is brand new.

There’s quite a bit of money invested in those supplements, and some of these aren’t the easiest to find in other countries.

From my hometown security to finally making it over to China, for some reason I haven’t been stopped and questioned about all my supplements.  But each time, security gives me anxiety.

A lot of the critical supplements, like magnesium, I need for my depression.  A lot of the other ones are brand new so that I can try them out and report back my findings to this site.  To lose the bag of supplements would pretty much be a disaster for my entire trip.

So far so good.  Except this time in the security checkout in Beijing the lady stops me.  She points at my bag and goes, “Uh, lots of pills!”

Uh oh, what now.  There is a language barrier so I act confused (not knowing the language lets you get away with a lot). I look at her like I don’t understand her.

She repeats herself, “Lots of pills!” and starts to get up and walk towards me.

I just say, “I have depression.  Need pills!” and give her the thumbs up as I grab my bag and start walking away.

No one follows me or stops me, so I’m in the clear.

Overcoming Depression Means Taking Better Care of Yourself

You don’t have to carry random experimental supplements with you when you travel to other countries like myself.

But if you have depression, sometimes it is a pain to have to take extra care of yourself.

Everyone else is staying up late, eating garbage, getting hardly any sleep, and working 10 hours the next day and feeling positive.

With depression you eat a couple crappy meals, miss out on your sleep for a day, and you find yourself drifting back into the depths of despair.

Even worse, people around you will give you resistance to taking better care of yourself or commenting on your habits.

If you’re young, you will hear, “You should have energy all the time at that age!”

Keeping Up Your Health Habits is a Must

Over and over again I will start to believe that I am just like everyone else and can let things slide.  Over and over again, that leads me to another depressive cycle.

You have to accept that you are more prone to negative states than other people.  You have to accept that taking care of yourself, taking your vitamins,  and eating healthy food is ESSENTIAL to keeping you where you need to be.

I used to be known as the “lentil guy” at my work.  While people were eating hamburgers and french fries, I was the guy that was eating lentils, vegetables, and protein shakes.

People would make fun of me, but I knew from the many relapses of depression that this is the way I must live.

Does this suck?  Is it bad to have to be making healthy food for yourself all the time?

The Benefits of Depression

I don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, eat sugar, or stay up all night.  I eat huge salads full of vegetables and healthy protein, drink lots of water, exercise almost everyday, and get plenty of sleep.  Not to mention I take vitamins and minerals and have even gotten a blood test to make sure all my levels are aligned.

This makes it so I’m not depressed.

But this also makes one of the healthiest people around.

When my coworkers were tired and ready to end the work day, I was still booming with energy.

When other people are getting fat or complaining about their health, my body is in good shape.

When other people are wasting their lives away drinking Bud Light every night, I’m having a good time and waking up feeling awesome the next day.

I have learned so much about living life and how to be healthy from my depression.  I would have never given myself that education if I didn’t feel like killing myself without it.

Ignore Everything Else and Realize that Depression Is Real

I wish I would have just accepted that I had depression and that it was real many years ago.  Instead I kept listening to all the crap from other people thinking it was all in my head, that I could just think positive and it would go away, and that I could eat whatever I wanted and feel fine at my young age.

Depression is real and that means you gotta take better care of yourself then other people.

After a while of being the “lentil guy” people stop bugging you once they see you are firm in your decision and don’t feel the need to have to explain anything.

The good thing is after a few months of getting your body and brain back into balance, you actually can go out and get drunk and eat McDonalds and feel fine the next day.  There are also a few supplements you can take that will ease things and make it so you don’t have to be so bulletproof.

But when you are recovering from depression and getting everything back into order, you have to take much better care of yourself than anybody else.  This might suck, but once you get rolling with being super healthy all the time you will never look back.

Remember, depression is real.  Don’t let the media or anything else convince you otherwise, and keep rocking those vegetables, exercise, and sleep!

0

You and Me by Debbie Sesula

Topics Discussed

0:24 – Do You Do This To Yourself?
0:44 – Does Being Tired Mean You Are Depressed?
1:01 – Does Being Overly Excited Mean You Are Manic?
1:29 – Take a Step Back

This poem illustrates the frustration that a lot of people who have mental health problems have experienced. It is aimed at helping people understand others.

However, I find that the real power in this power is how I relate to myself.

by Debbie Sesula

If you’re overly excited
You’re happy
If I’m overly excited
I’m manic.

If you imagine the phone ringing
You’re stressed out
If I imagine the phone ringing
I’m psychotic.

If you’re crying and sleeping all day
You’re sad and need time out
If I’m crying and sleeping all day
I’m depressed and need to get up.

If you’re afraid to leave your house at night
You’re cautious
If I’m afraid to leave my house at night
I’m paranoid.

If you speak your mind and express your opinions
You’re assertive
If I speak my mind and express my opinions
I’m aggressive.

If you don’t like something and mention it
You’re being honest
If I don’t like something and mention it
I’m being difficult.

If you get angry
You’re considered upset
If I get angry
I’m considered dangerous.

If you over-react to something
You’re sensitive
If I over-react to something
I’m out of control.

If you don’t want to be around others
You’re taking care of yourself and relaxing
If I don’t want to be around others
I’m isolating myself and avoiding.

If you talk to strangers
You’re being friendly
If I talk to strangers
I’m being inappropriate.

For all of the above you’re not told to take a
pill or are hospitalized, but I am!

This represents the stigma people often feel by other people.  But what about your own thoughts?

Are you doing this to yourself?

Sometimes it’s us labeling ourselves. When you get excited do you think you’re getting manic? On a day that you are sad do you think you have depression?

One of the most important steps for me in my recovery was when I started to distance myself from the definition of depression. If I really do get depressed, I can see it.

If I label any form of sadness that arises as depression that starts a downward spiral.

Obviously there is a fine line between isolating yourself out of depression and isolating yourself because you want to be by yourself. Being able to recognize which one it is can free you of limiting thoughts.

Not only can you rise above depression, but once you do, keep going, and be careful about labeling every mood change as related to your “diagnosis.”