10

The Silent Killer That’s Been Following You Everywhere You Go

Everyday there is something not quite right.

You feel tense and you aren’t sure why.

You can’t talk to people without worrying what they are thinking about you.

You can’t go into work without worrying about whether or not you are doing a good job.

Money is constantly on your mind, even though you probably have enough.

You can’t seem to enjoy things like other people.

Making that big change is too much to handle.

This is just the way things are…

The Silent Killer: Anxiety

Nothing is overwhelming unless there is anxiety.

Think about that.

If you had zero anxiety would it even be possible to be overwhelmed by the thought of talking to a stranger? Raising your hand in an important meeting? Going after your life goals?

Anxiety is tricky… You can have a low level of subtle anxiety in the background of your life all the time and never realize it.

I had background anxiety for YEARS without knowing it.

Then one day I suddenly had relief. Holy crap. I’ve had that level of anxiety for how long?

How To Recognize If You Have Anxiety

Do you randomly get a racing heart? Constantly have sweating hands? Feel like something bad is going to happen?

Persistent mind chatter? Thoughts that you are losing control?

Do you avoid social situations because you are afraid you might get nervous or get sick? Do you obsess about your health?

Constantly worry about everything from your relationships to your finances?

You might not even realize just how bad your anxiety is until you actually have a relief from it.

What To Do About Anxiety

Most people use exposure therapy to solve anxiety. I think using both exposure therapy and combining that with fixing up your body and brain is best.

I tried forever to erase social anxiety. I was always nervous around people. Junior High, High School, and College weren’t the most enjoyable periods of my life.

I tried everything from approaching random strangers to participating in Toastmasters – a program designed to help people overcome the fear of public speaking.

All of it helped immensely, but I was still nervous. Even after tons of effort to expose myself, I was still a victim to my nervousness.

Until I looked at the other side of the coin.

The Biological Side of Anxiety

A lack of serotonin is one of the main contributors for anxiety. Most people ONLY think about depression when it comes to serotonin.  But having plenty of serotonin prevents us from being depressed and anxious.

What exactly is shyness?  It is a low-level of anxiety combined with low self-esteem, both of which are related to being low in serotonin.

Other symptoms of low serotonin can include a sense of dread, constant worry, feeling like “bad things are going to happen”, hating yourself, and seeing the dark side of life.

Physical symptoms can include:

• Gut Problems: 90% of your serotonin is actually in your gut.  If you don’t have enough serotonin, it can interfere with your digestion.  If you raise your serotonin, digestive tension (such as constipation) often is fixed.
• Sleep Problems: I’m not the only one that has worried obsessively over sleep, and my sleep post is one of the most popular posts on this website.  Raising your serotonin can not only fix your anxiety, but help you get to sleep.
• Pain and Migraines: Low serotonin will make it harder for your muscles to relax.  If you have low serotonin, you will also produce less endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers.

How to Raise Serotonin?

The best way to keep your serotonin levels high and healthy is a system of eating a good diet, correcting nutritional deficiencies, exercising in the sun, getting plenty of rest, and reducing stress.

But, you can jump start that process with a few amino acids.  Amino acids are in proteins and are the building blocks for numerous neurotransmitters.

5-HTP: Most people find that they can take 5-HTP and have fast results.  It has been used in Japan and Europe before 1980 and it didn’t become available to the United States years later.  It has outperformed antidepressant drugs.  It is the precursor to serotonin.  Take it on an empty stomach.

L-Tryptophan: Some people don’t find that 5-HTP works very well for them (myself included) and found that Tryptophan works better.  Again, it needs to be taken on an empty stomach.

St. John’s Wort: If the above supplements don’t work, St. John’s Wort has been found to outperform Prozac as an antidepressant in Germany.  However, we aren’t quite sure exactly how St. John’s Wort works like we do with 5-HTP and L-Tryptophan.

What If Raising Your Serotonin Doesn’t Help?

Another amino acid involved in keeping anxiety down is GABA.  It inhibits the “fight-or-flight” response in your body.  It can also be taken as a supplement, on an empty stomach, to calm down anxiety and allow you to function properly.

Being deficient in serotonin or GABA are the most common causes of anxiety.  If those don’t seem to be the problem, having a thyroid or adrenal malfunctions can also invoke panic attacks, anxiety, and constant worry.

However, taking GABA can be hit or miss for people.  Some people report amazing effects.  Others report nothing.  Click here to see my honest opinion about it.

If your diet consists of lots of vegetables, proteins, healthy fats, you aren’t eating anything you’re allergic to, you’ve corrected nutritional deficiencies, and you’ve tried supplements like 5-HTP or GABA, if you still have anxiety you should seriously consider checking your Thyroid and Adrenal gland.

Depression and Anxiety Often Are Partners In Crime

After I really buckled down and solved my depression by utilizing vitamins, minerals, amino acids and nutrition my anxiety started to disappear.

I had done everything from talking to strangers, joining Toastmasters and facing my public speaking fears, etc. and I STILL felt anxious.

But how I fixed anxiety was a little different.  I was never trying to fix anxiety, because it was hard to tell I really had anxiety.  The only thing I was worried about was being depressed all the time.

Surprisingly, everything I did to fix my depression also alleviated my anxiety.

You MUST solve this problem if you want to live a fulfilling life. I was EXTREMELY nervous to talk in front of 4 people back when I was doing Toastmasters.

After I fixed my depression and anxiety, I became one of the top salesman at a large car dealership, where I was essentially doing public speaking everyday under pressure.

There are two sides to anxiety and depression.  On the one side, you have things like positive thinking and exposure therapy.  On the other side, you have real, physical symptoms happening that aren’t a result of your mind and thoughts.

 

3

Lightphoria Light Lamp Review 10,000 Lux SP9882

I randomly came across bright light therapy in my desperate search for an answer to my depression.

I saw pictures of these SAD light therapy lamps.

People are actually using lights for depression?

I quickly wrote it off as something that would never work.

But if you’ve been on the site for a while, you know one of the most important decisions I made was to try things instead of debate endlessly in my head about if they would work.

I decided to try using lights for depression.  And I’m glad I did.

Out of all the light therapy products out there, I bought the sphere gadget technologies lightphoria 10 000lux energy light lamp and this is my lightphoria review.

What is Light Therapy Exactly?

People most commonly use light therapy for seasonal affective disorder but it is also used for insomnia and sleep disorders.

Light boxes emit light that hits the retina of the eyes to reset your circadian rhythm. This helps get a person’s sleep schedule back on track.  According to Wikipedia, light therapy can also be used to treat acne vulgaris, eczema, and neonatal jaundice.

This means that if you suffer from depression and insomnia, you can use light therapy to treat both simultaneously.  It is also great for jet lag (more on that in a moment).

Should Everyone Be Using Light Therapy Boxes?

Using seasonal affective disorder light bulbs is typically very safe.  Possible side effects can include eyestrain, headache, nausea, irritability or agitation.

The big risk with using seasonal affective disorder light therapy is if you suffer from bipolar disorder.  People who are prone to mania have reported that using seasonal affective disorder lights can produce euphoria, hyperactivity, and agitation.

It is best to use 10000 lux light when using light treatment.  If you use 10000 lux, you can get benefits in around 30 minutes whereas a light box that emits 2500 lux might take 2 hours to get benefits.

Lightphoria SAD Light Therapy Review

Many people think this is the best SAD light for many reasons.  The Sphere Gadget Technologies SP9882 Lightophoria SAD Light is portable, doesn’t cost a ton of money, emits 10000 LUX, doesn’t emit any plastic like smells, and has different light intensity settings.

It also has a built in timer so that you can set it for the duration you want.  It will automatically shut off when the time is up.

I also enjoyed this feature because I used to set it in the kitchen while making food.  Sometimes I would walk out of the room to do other things.

I always set the timer so that I wouldn’t accidentally leave it on and leave the house.

When I first got it out, I have to admit it felt quite flimsy and cheap.  It felt like it could break at any second if it took any sort of fall.

I actually dropped it a couple times, and it still works.

Sphere Gadget Technologies SP9882 Lightphoria Pros and Features:

Cons and Complaints:

One of the main things I didn’t like about it was the length of the cord and how lightweight it is.  You can see in my video how if you try to put it in certain positions and the cord is stretched out, it will actually move the light box which could potentially make it fall off your desk/table.

Scroll down to the bottom of this post to see me using the lightphoria light lamp in various settings.

A few people on Amazon.com also wish it would have a battery so they don’t have to plug in.  A few reviewers also said that it didn’t work after a couple uses.  For me, I’ve traveled with it all over the world and it has never given me problems.

Lightphoria VS goLITE

Another option to consider is the Philips goLITE BLU Light Therapy Device.  The main selling point of the goLITE is that it emits blue light and comes with a rechargeable battery if you don’t like the cord on the  lightphoria light box.

I have never personally used the goLITE, but I do know they had an aggressive marketing plan on Amazon.com where they pumped out a lot of positive reviews.  Even with their marketing plan, the reviews are still not as positive as the sphere lightphoria reviews.

When I was looking at lights for SAD I thought that the battery for the goLITE was going to make a big difference.

Several reviews, however, state that the battery on the goLITE takes a long time to recharge and only lasts around 15 minutes before it needs to be charged again.

Even though the goLITE solves the issue of not having to use the cord all the time, the battery charge is relatively short-lasting and many reviewers stated they have to lug around their power cord anyways.

It is another sun lamp that can be used while traveling as well.

The big difference between the two lamps is the Philips goLITE costs $121.00 on Amazon.com and the Lightphoria energy light lamp costs $51.00.  The Lightphoria sp9882 has a year warranty on top of that.  As far as I can tell, the goLITE does not have any warranty.

Since the Philips wakeup light doesn’t have a warranty, has slightly less positive reviews than the Sphere Gadgets Lightphoria, and costs about $50 more, I would purchase the Sphere Lightphoria light lamp.

Lightphoria VS Nature Bright

Another option to consider is the NatureBright SunTouch Plus Light and Ion Therapy Lamp.  This depression lamp was supposedly recommended by the Columbia Department of Psychiatry and the New York State Psychiatry Institute.

One of the big selling points of this natural light lamp is that it also uses negative ion therapy to help relieve depression.

Clinical studies show that ion therapy can provide an antidepressant effect within a few days of use.  However, several reviews show that the ion therapy on this light lamp might not be all that it is cracked up to be.

One reviewer even states that the smell that comes off this lamp and the “negative ion therapy” might be harmful.

Another reviewer said that he tested whether or not the NatureBright emitted ozone. His NatureBright sun lamp emitted 0.209 parts per million within 10-15 minutes.

The Environmental Protection Agency states the risk level at 0.08 parts per million.

Devices that produce ozone can decrease lung function, cause coughing and chest pain, and higher susceptibility to lung function.

The light lamp appears to be of very high quality according to other reviews and is much bigger.  Some people might not like the small size of the lightphoria sphere gadget and want a larger lamp instead.  In this case, the NatureBright SunTouch Plus Light might be a good option.  It is only $69.24 on Amazon.com.

My only issues with it is if it actually does emit ozone which could be potentially harmful and that the negative ion therapy might not be what it is all cracked up to be.  Regardless of those issues, I have never personally tried out the lamp and the overall consensus on Amazon.com is overwhelmingly positive.

Conclusion

If you get more depressed in the winter time, have problems with maintaining your sleep schedule, or want a way to overcome jet lag quicker, I would recommend the Lightphoria energy light lamp.

The Lightphoria 10 000 lux light lamp has overwhelmingly positive reviews on Amazon.com, is the least expensive of the best options, and can be traveled with easily.  I sold most of my stuff and packed all my belongings into a backpack to go live in Southeast Asia, and the Lightphoria energy light came with me.

The Philips goLITE seems like a great option as well, but is considerably more expensive than the Lightphoria light lamp and the battery doesn’t last long enough to make it a deciding factor.

The NatureBright SunTouch looks like a great lamp if you don’t ever plan on traveling with your light lamp, but it might emit harmful ozone.

The lightphoria energy light is one of the best light therapy lamps to purchase if you need a lightweight lamp that won’t break the bank and need it to be portable.  You can purchase it on Amazon here: Lightphoria Amazon.

Let me know your personal experiences with Light Therapy lamps below.

Note: All the links above are affiliate links.  If you buy one of the light lamps through my links, I make about $1.80.  I recommend things that I know works for depression through scientific research, treatment centers, and my own experiences.  I hope you enjoyed my Lightphoria light lamp review.

2

Most Dangerous Thing You Can Do While Depressed

Are you making this critical mistake in recovering from depression?

This is really subtle and something that took me years to figure out in my head.

If you are stuck in this mindset, it is one of the most dangerous traps you can get stuck in.

Fortunately once you can recognize it you can eliminate it.

Don’t Make This Mistake While Depressed

Topics Discussed:
0:38 – Can Watching Motivational Speeches Fix Depression?
1:38 – Depression Versus Sadness
2:22 – When You Are “Sad”, You Can “Snap Out Of It”
3:10 – It is “Just In Your Head”
4:06 – You Won’t Be Able to Recover and Get Help
5:30 – You Are Having a Real Experience

It was a nice sunny day in Thailand.  I met a counselor from New Zealand and we had been discussing depression in depth the night before.

We show up at this organic vegetable restaurant.  It is a stand in an alleyway, your typical “hole in the wall” type of establishment.  The lady there is always over enthusiastic to see me.

The tables were full so we sat down with someone already at the restaurant.  Naturally, we got talking.  One thing led to another, and he asked, “What do you do?” I told him about the website and how I help people overcome depression without medication.  He starts to perk up a bit.

He then says, “You know what I do if I start to feel a little depressed?” Of course I respond, “Yes!”

He says, “Oh I just get on YouTube and watch a few motivational videos.  That always does the trick and I’m not depressed anymore.”

I didn’t say anything, but I knew my friend was thinking the same thing.  We both had had experience with depression ourselves and worked with numerous people who were struggling with depression.

If I could have just watched a motivational video and it would have brought me out of my depression, than that would not have been the depression I’m talking about.  When I used to get depressed, a motivational video isn’t going to do anything.  When I’m laying on the floor and can’t get up, watching anything is not going to get me out of that depression.  That is the depression I am talking about.  I am not talking about mere sadness.

Which made me realize a lot about what I have learned and one of the key things I had to stop in order to recover.

Do You Disassociate from Your Depression?

How many times have you had an argument with a friend or family member about whether or not depression is a “choice”?

How many times have you been told to just “snap out of it” or “shake it off” because people think depression isn’t real?

For the majority of my life, I went on believing that depression was a character flaw that I had.  I wasn’t depressed, I just had certain issues.  I couldn’t think positive.  I didn’t have strong willpower.  I was weak and not a cool person.

What made it even worse, was other people believed the same thing.  Even depressed people believed that depression was a choice or that depression simply didn’t exist.  Interestingly, these people were still depressed.

If a person hasn’t ever been depressed in their lives, the only way they might understand depression’s depth is if a loved one suffered through depression.  Otherwise, most people aren’t quite sure what depression means.

Take two people.  One person has a great life.  Everything is going great.  The second person has a good life, but he just broke up with his girlfriend and lost his job at the same time.  The first person wakes up everyday and has absolutely no energy at all and constantly daydreams about killing himself.  The second person feels down from losing his job and breaking up with his girlfriend.

What do they both have in common? They both say that they are “depressed”.  Except for the first person has something going on in his physical body and mind that is preventing him from experiencing any sort of pleasure in life where as the second person is simply feeling down because of life circumstances.

How do we know what people mean when they say they are depressed?

Most People Confuse Depression with “Sadness”

When we are actually depressed, we hate ourselves, we have no energy, we don’t feel any pleasure out of life, or we even experience physical symptoms like body sluggishness or soreness.

When we are actually depressed, we can’t just snap out of it.  We are trying 110% everyday to snap out of it and yet we can’t.  If I lose my job, I have the ability to think positive and look at the brighter side of life.  I have the ability to find a new job, to experience a little grief and move on.  I can go walk in the park and literally “shake it off.”

But if I a wake up in the morning and feel completely depleted of all life, if I wake up and have severe anxiety to the point where I mess up my words and can’t even talk right, if I wake up in the morning and realize I’d rather kill myself than live for no reason, than that is not sadness.

The problem is we use the word depression for far too many different circumstances.  If I could, I’d change the English vocabulary to have different words for being depressed and being down/sad.

Why Believing Depression Isn’t Real Will Stop You From Recovering

I started to go crazy and completely distrust all of my own feelings and thoughts because I was experiencing such severe symptoms of depression and I couldn’t express them to anybody.  When I tried to tell people about how I was feeling, they would tell me that it was “all in my head.”

At this point I didn’t even trust myself.  I started to not believe my own inner experience.  I disassociated from my feelings and what was really going on inside to try and believe that it really was all in my head.

If you are experiencing severe and constant low self-esteem, low energy, low enthusiasm, severe obsessive thoughts, or feeling numb all the time, and you have already tried positive thinking and have failed over and over again, then realize that you have a real issue.  Not being able to get out of  bed all day feeling completely numb and worthless despite watching Anthony Robbins videos all day means it probably isn’t all in “your head.”

Thinking that depression isn’t real will stop you from recovering and stop you from seeking help.  That is why this belief is so dangerous and why that belief stopped me from my own personal recovery for so many years.

When I went skydiving and still felt depressed afterwards, that is when I finally accepted that, yes, depression is real.  I have depression.  I need help.  That is when I finally started to recover.

The most dangerous thing you can do while depressed is to think that depression isn’t real.  To disassociate from your true feelings and experience.  To believe that it is all in your head, even though you’ve spent the last few years feeling that way.

And the thing is, depression isn’t crazy.  You aren’t weird or weak for having depression.  You’ve just found yourself in this state called depression.  Once you realize that is all that is, then you can seek help and begin seeking out the root causes of your depression to fix it.

2

We Need to Fire Our Heroes and Buddha’s Trick To Erase Negative Feelings

Why do we feel like we should be able to be happy?

We should be able to pick ourselves up on our own?

Why do we get so scared of “negativity” and what Buddhism teaches us is the real way to deal with it?

My recent experience on the ferry from Macau to Hong Kong led me to the answer…

Topics Discussed:
0:11 – Trying To Be Happy While In Hong Kong
1:15 – Just Feel What You Are Feeling
2:25 – Why We Fake Optimism and the Buddhist Secret
3:05 – Why This is Huge If You Have Depression
3:56 – We Need to Fire Our Heroes
4:55 – How To Text Someone To Get Help
6:13 – Example of a Bad Way To Ask For Help

I wake up with an itchy throat.

I feel a little sluggish and tired, almost as if I am fighting something.

I get on the ferry from Hong Kong to Macao. I close my eyes for the hour long ride and arrive.

As the day goes on, I begin to fake optimism. You know, we are supposed to always be excited and full of energy.

I want to add to the experience around me. Add value for others. I don’t want to feel down right now…

The day keeps going and it is ok. I don’t feel any better though, and I begin to feel worse.

“No I’m not getting sick, I’m in Hong Kong! I’m healthy.”

Am I getting a little depressed? No. Gotta resist that. That is not possible. I’m the owner of this website, I dominated depression a long time ago. I am too strong for that.

As I get on the ferry back to Hong Kong, I plug in my headphones and an old song comes on that brings up memories.

I start to feel sadness and begin to fight it once again…

Then I just take a breath in and let go. I’ve already learned this lesson before. Feelings are just feelings. Things just are. Miss that, and you miss out on beauty.

My immune system is down and I’m struggling. The feelings overwhelm me and I smile. I feel sadness, but I feel beautiful sadness. Memories of the past, memories of my long lost brother and friend suddenly return. The loss in life. The fact that there is suffering.

I feel the other spectrum of life. I accept this feeling and go with it.

And the beauty of it comes to me.

Despite being the only one who speaks English on the entire ferry my loneliness disappears.

I accept myself and feel fulfilled. I realize I need rest and allow myself to just sit and rest. I let the feelings guide me to write this post.

Why Do We Hide Our Feelings?

There’s something weird about vulnerability.

In the Western world we promote happiness, optimism, showing a sense of “success” at all times.

We don’t want to be weak. Maybe we showed our feelings to someone in the past and they hurt us. We learned that if we are a little bit fake people aren’t rejecting us, but our image that we project. We feel safer that way.

When someone has depression, which is already stigmatized in society, it makes it even harder to be vulnerable about their feelings. What is looked more down upon than someone who admits to feeling powerless and hopeless?

The only problem with that is you can’t truly grow until you face those feelings head on. Once you let them pass through you and see them for what they are, that is when they dissipate.

There’s No Such Thing As Negativity, Just Negative Negativity

One day I listened to a Buddhist monk give a talk. What she said has stuck with me ever since.

People were asking her questions. One lady said, “Sometimes I just feel so down. I don’t know what to do. I shouldn’t feel negative feelings like that.”

To which the Buddhist monk responded, “There isn’t negativity, just negative negativity.”

The next day I woke up, and i had a lot of tension. I opened up the Tao Te Ching and read:

“There is a time for being ahead,
a time for being behind;
a time for being in motion,
a time for being at rest;
a time for being vigorous,
a time for being exhausted;
a time for being safe,
a time for being in danger.”

Oh wait, I almost forgot. We are all human. We all feel these feelings. There is nothing wrong with being depressed. Again, there is nothing wrong with being depressed.

The paradox is to get rid of the negative feelings, we have to feel them. If you resist them, they will persist, and you’ll feel shame for having them.

Once you accept them and let them run their course, they will dissipate.

There is no such thing as negativity. Just negative negativity.

We Need to Fire Our Heroes

One of the strongest and most progressed human beings once told me he had to fire all his heroes.

I asked, “What do you mean?”

“All those guys in the movies. I had to fire them.”

“The stars?”

“Yes. I had to fire the idea that I can do everything on my own.”

This is coming from one of the strongest people I know. When you talk to him it feels like you are talking to a human being who is so rooted in his confidence and humility that nothing could touch him. Yet he said the key to his success was allowing himself to feel his feelings and ask for help.

Sometimes you just gotta ask for help.

Process of Asking for Help

You need to ask for exactly what you need.

Do not text:

“Dude people are pissing me off. They just ignore me”

Instead try:

“I feel lonely. I can’t seem to connect with people lately. I just need to talk to someone for a bit if that’s cool.”

Don’t kitty corner around the issue. Just be direct.

Here is an example of a conversation I just had with an old friend:

HIM: “I don’t see the point anymore”
ME: “What’s going on?”
HIM: “Nah I don’t want to unload on you man, that’s not cool.”
ME: “But I know you want to ;)”
HIM: “No that would be unfair”

Even when I told him I would listen, he still didn’t tell me what was going on and what he needed.

Although I genuinely wanted to help him, he prejudged that I didn’t, and he stopped himself from receiving help. And what is sad is how many times I’ve done that to myself.

People want to help you. They really do. And having feelings is alright.

Asking For Help And Feeling Your Feelings is Courageous

There is nothing more badass than knowing your boundaries, knowing your strengths and your weaknesses, and knowing when you need assistance.

Instead of resisting so bad that you are starting to feel like crap, just accept it. “I’m starting to feel like crap. I probably need to take it easy today. You want to go to the movies?”

People don’t have to go to the movies with you. But this approach will completely change your conversations with people. Be completely direct with them and tell them how they can help you.

It just might save your life.

Oh, and don’t believe the hype in the movies about the main character dominating the world all on his own ;).

105

My Experience Taking and Getting Off Celexa

Antidepressants.  The thing half of Americans are taking and prescribed so easily.  SSRIs have become almost like the new multivitamins of our century.  Maybe even like Skittles.

When my life took a dramatic turning point I decided it was time to try something else.  What I was doing to fight off depression clearly wasn’t working.

One of the first things I did was take antidepressants.  Citalopram, or Celexa, was the first drug I was prescribed.

My Experience with Celexa

Topics Discussed:

0:53 – Would you like paxil, celexa, or zoloft?
1:40 – My libido went through the roof
2:40 – Weird feeling of being good but not sure if I was good
3:20 – Completely losing my mind on a high dose of celexa
3:55 – New psychiatrist and forcing lithium onto me
5:05 – Road rage on lithium
6:00 – Getting off celexa cold turkey (or so I thought)
7:45 – Getting the zaps while weaning off celexa
8:50 – Waking up one morning with a realization
10:05 – What are the root causes of your depression?

The Best Way To Get Off Celexa

I go up to the front counter.  A slightly overweight woman who looked at me with so much compassion it was like I was her own son asked me what I came in for.  I said, “I feel depressed.”  After filling out a short questionnaire I took my seat.  I rated myself on a scale of 1-10 on various factors such as how often I had suicidal thoughts or if I liked myself.

Various pictures were set up around the room.  Some were about self-esteem.  Others inspirational.  Overall, I felt really comfortable.

A slightly short woman who’s genuine smile was so authentic came into the room and said, “TJ?”  I began to stand up, she reached out her hand with the warmest smile I’d come across in weeks, and introduced herself.  I shook her hand and hoped that she didn’t mind it was a little sweaty.  Then again, she probably shakes a lot of sweaty hands.

Inside her office she asked me about my symptoms. She told me about a couple of antidepressants.  She asked me which one I would like to try.  “Would you like Zoloft, Paxil, or Celexa?  Celexa is the least likely to cause sexual side effects.”  I picked Celexa, otherwise known as citalopram.  I didn’t want sexual side effects, even though at the time I had been pretty isolated and it probably wouldn’t have mattered.

I got my prescription, went to the local pharmacy and filled it for a couple bucks, and I was on my way.  I felt the affects almost instantly.

How Does One Get Off Celexa? You Don’t If You Feel This Good!

I didn’t know what people meant by antidepressants taking weeks to take affect.  Within days I was writing poems about how I was so awesome I could escape Alcatraz.  I started calling up friends to hang out.  Things were good.

Oh and the sexual side effects? My libido was through the roof.  This was great.  Not only was I not depressed, I had the reverse of what many people experience on antidepressants.  Instead of Celexa ruining my sex drive it basically ramped up my sex drive to heights I didn’t know was possible.  I felt good.  I wanted to go do stuff, like play guitar up in the mountains with friends.  So I did.

I remember on our drive up the mountain we saw some women.  Well hello women, this is TJ, the man who is no longer depressed.  We invited them up to our campfire to play guitar and hang out.  Wow.  A few months after making my suicide agreement I already cured my depression.  Things were good.

If It Stops Working, Just Increase The Dose (And Get High Off Celexa)

Taking Celexa was a weird sort of feeling.  It was as if I was ok, but my emotions weren’t really full and rounded.  I simply felt fine, but I’m not sure I felt much, if that makes sense.  I didn’t care anyways.  Comparing that state to the state that I was in, I’d take an antidepressant all day long.

Best way to describe it is the feeling you get for the rest of the day after you ride the most intense roller coaster.  You feel good, but nothing really affects you anymore because it can’t compare to the roller coaster ride.  That is how being on antidepressants felt.  I already rode the ride and was just sitting in the half numb half satisfied after glory.

Unfortunately, after about a month and a half, the effects started to wear off. Hmm… That’s weird.  So I went back to the Psychiatrist.  She greeted me with the warmest smile I have ever seen and invited me back into her office. After discussing my symptoms, she assured me that this happened all the time.  They just needed to increase my dosage.

I got my new prescription and went on my way. I started taking my increased dose.  New poems were written and new heights in sexual drive were attained.  Not too bad.

Then the same thing happened again.  After another few months, I started falling back down into a slightly depressed state.  Uh oh.  How far can they increase the dosage?  Can I just keep increasing the dose over and over again?

Can You Get Off Celexa?

They increased my dosage again.  This time it was beyond amazing.  I had so much energy I had no idea what to do with myself.  I stopped sleeping.  I didn’t eat as much.  I started 10 new projects at once.  I went to the mall and got every woman’s phone number there.  I made out with a girl outside the Apple store.  I was on fire.

About a half a week later the sleep deprivation caught up to me.  Either that, or the lack of eating.  I crashed pretty hard.  I realized that it probably wasn’t normal to have that much energy and confidence suddenly.  So back I went to the familiar lobby with soothing pictures on the walls and people that cared about me.

“Sorry TJ, she no longer works here.”  Damn.  My psychiatrist moved on to another institution. They said there was another psychiatrist that could see me this time.  Great. A man greeted me.  There was no warm smile.  Not even a handshake. Maybe the first psychiatrist was on Celexa and this one wasn’t.

As I entered his office, there was no smile filled with warmth.  Only an authoritative gesture for me to sit down. He told me that I was bipolar and needed to take additional medication to counteract the effects of Celexa.  He said I should take lithium and he could write me a prescription.

I had done my research on lithium before and someone in my family had taken it and it hadn’t affected him very well.  I didn’t think it was the best choice for me.  I told the psychiatrist I’d rather take something like lamotrigine.

He promptly told me that lamotrigine was a lot more expensive than lithium and that I should take lithium.  I questioned him further.  He pulled up a wikipedia page on lithium to answer a few of my questions.  After a while he finally told me, “Lithium is only $4 at Walmart.  It is the better choice.”

I guess I should just take the lithium then.  I got my prescription, went and filled it at the local Walmart pharmacy, and I was on my way.

Two days after taking lithium I developed severe anger. Some drunk people pulled up to me at a stop light and started saying some random cocky stuff to me.  I leaned out of my truck and yelled, “F!@* I’M GOING TO KILL YOU” just as the light changed color.  They turned left and I cut across the lane to make the left turn.  I started chasing them, but they got away.  My plan was to run them off the road.  This is coming from someone who has never had road rage in his life.

I promptly stopped taking Lithium and began to question whether or not it was wise to continue taking Celexa.

Getting Off Celexa Cold Turkey

I decided I was going to stop taking Celexa.  So I did.  No weaning off of it slowly.  Just straight up stopped taking it.  I didn’t know it was such a big deal.  The next day I’m in my internship and everyone keeps looking at me and asking, “TJ, are you okay?” and “TJ, what is wrong?”  Nothing is wrong.  Well, wait a minute…  I haven’t done anything for an hour.

They keep asking me questions and I can’t make sense of it all.  So I just declare that I’m going home and get out of there.  Halfway home I break down sobbing.  Not just crying, I mean sobbing.  Where your tear ducts are emptying every last ounce of tears humanly possible.

I make it into my home, walk into the living room, and fall down on the ground.  As I’m laying there, I keep thinking to myself, “TJ… You’ve got to get up. You’ve got to get UP.”  I laid there for 2 hours… Telling myself to get up for 2 hours (I know because of what time I left the internship and what time I finally made it into the kitchen).

I had to start taking Celexa right after that.  Now it wasn’t a question of whether or not to take Celexa to beat depression. It was either take Celexa and function or don’t take Celexa and become a vegetable.

So now I’m in a slightly depressed state, right where I was before I started the Celexa, and dependent on a high dosage of an antidepressant.  Uh oh.  I didn’t have as much time before my suicide agreement date.  Back to square one…

Get Off Celexa Safely

After reading numerous books, I finally got off of Celexa successfully with minimal withdrawal in about 2 or 3 weeks using vitamins and amino acids.  One of the weirdest things I experienced were the “zaps”.  Yes, they are real.  I can’t really describe what they feel like.  You only really know if you have experienced them before.  It feels like an electric pulse that goes through your body.  It usually felt like it came from my head and my brain area and I’d feel it go down my back.

Even after not having any withdrawal symptoms at all and feeling completely normal I’d get the random zap.  It just kept happening.  I sort of accepted I might have the zaps forever.  Maybe I’ll start naming my zaps.  Then I remember about 2 months after quitting antidepressants realizing, “Hey, I haven’t felt a zap in a while.”

Getting Off Celexa Symptoms

Other than brain zaps, getting off of celexa was one of the weirdest experiences of my life.  I was either feeling fine or had brief moments of fear.  I was either laying down on my bed listening to music or wandering about the day aimlessly wondering if I had permanently screwed up my brain.

While I was on Celexa, I used Moodtracker.com to track my mood.  The purple bars represent my mood, the green line represents how much sleep I got.  You can see how I would be really messed up, stabilize for a while, then feel like crap again.  That’s when they’d up my dosage and the cycle would repeat itself over and over until finally the side effects were too severe for me.

You can see in March, 2011 I’m all over the place.  Finally in April I start to stabilize a bit.  In May I start to be slightly depressed everyday.  Then the blue section represents me upping my dose from 20mg to 40mg.  June 2011 I am stabilized for a month, then in July I’m all over the place once again.

Best Way To Get Off Celexa

It might sound like I’m against medication, but I’m not.  I took it at a time where if I wouldn’t have, I don’t know what might have happened.  At the very least, I learned a lot about myself and I finally had the energy to read a bunch of books on the impact that nutrition has on depression.

After my experience, I realized that antidepressants should be used after trying to figure out the root cause of the problem first.  If someone doesn’t have enough Vitamin b12 and folic acid in their body, throwing an antidepressant at them is potentially dangerous, as the real reason they are depressed still exists.

It’s important to view medication as a bigger decision. Right now you can walk into a doctors office, say you don’t feel good, and 5 minutes later you have a prescription for an SSRI.  SSRIs have their time and place and work great for some people.  But for others they can be a scary road, especially when you try to get off of them.

The best way to get off Celexa and other antidepressants is to get the core fundamentals of depression down.  You need to know the root cause of your depression to actually solve the problem and be able to get off the antidepressants and citalopram in the first place.  Celexa affects serotonin receptors, so you’ll need B-Vitamins, a few other vitamins and minerals, and 5-HTP or L-Tryptophan to wean yourself off.

And if you are coming off your antidepressant now, rest assured, eventually the zaps do stop.

If you want more information on getting off your antidepressant, check out my most popular post here on how to do so.

If you want to finally get your depression under control, sign up for the daily emails.

12

You’ve Relapsed Into Depression… Now What?

As we are walking around exploring the waterfalls in Thailand I can’t help but feel… nothing. I am sitting here with a beautiful woman staring at waterfalls halfway across the world and I’m too tired to care.

How does she not know that in my head I secretly want to die right now?  Are all these depressive thoughts in my mind not visible on my face?  Can people not tell that I feel like I’m going insane?

Topics Discussed:
1:10 – Getting Depressed and Confused After Eating Food
2:00 – Feeling Nothing At a Waterfall While On a Date
2:50 – Falling Asleep Randomly In the Middle of the Day
3:37 – Going Completely Insane
4:45 – Wanting To Kill Myself
5:30 – Asking For Help and Doing Whatever I Have to for Recovery
6:05 – Talking to a Guy Named Manhattan Mango
7:30 – Taking the Right Actions Despite The Depression
8:15 – Recovery from a Relapse Of Depression
9:00 – Not Being Able To Talk To People While Depressed
10:35 – Ask For Help Regardless Of What Your Thoughts Are Telling You

We ride the scooter back to my apartment to grab some money so we can go eat some food.  As we go back into my apartment it is 6:00pm.  I decide to lay down for a second.  She doesn’t understand what depressed means, so I say that I am sad.  She doesn’t understand how I can be sad just riding a scooter around visiting various waterfalls.

All a sudden I’m opening my eyes.  I don’t really know where I am.  There is some weird music being played next door. I can very distinctly hear two undertones of the chords that I would never normally notice.  It keeps alternating back and forth and sounds like it is inside my room.  The band must be inside my room. I can’t really understand the rest of the music, I just keep hearing these two chords.

Those two chords…  Back and forth… Back and forth… They sound like middle eastern chords.  I’m in a war zone and I am destined to die.  I feel like I’m going schizophrenic.  I am so confused.  The type of confusion you can’t escape.  You are trapped in this prison where you don’t really know what’s going on, yet you know you don’t know what’s going on, but you don’t know what to do about knowing you don’t know what’s going on.

Sitting there staring around, the two chords keep playing over and over.  I know I’m going crazy.  I sit up in my bed.  The suicidal thoughts start to come in.  I let out of a few tears of pure confusion and not knowing what to do.

“I’m here again TJ.  After 3 years of thinking you’ve figured it out, you haven’t.  Now is the time to finally end it.”

Whoa.  Wait a minute.  Just don’t do anything.  All you can do is get up. Those thoughts aren’t real.  They are just simply a side effect of the depression. Those thoughts aren’t “you.”  They are just a side effect of the depression.  No need to freak out or think it has anything to do with “me.”

Start moving.  Go somewhere to eat.  Oh yeah, there is someone else here sleeping.  Just wake her up and go eat something. It’ll pass.

A Relapse Into Depression… And How I Overcame It.

I haven’t had a serious relapse into depression where I got suicidal thoughts for around 3 years as of this writing.  When it started to come back, I got a little scared.

For one, I had to let go of my ego.  For three years I had successfully avoided the beast.  For three years I hadn’t had to go to “the place.”

I had to accept the situation for what it was.

I ate something weird in Thailand and got extremely sick.  Ever since, my digestive system has been completely out of whack.  Ever since that incident I’ve felt off.

Slowly I just couldn’t handle food more and more.  It got to the point where I would eat a meal and I would get a headache, have bloating, and fall into a depression.

Every morning I started to wake up and not be able to get out.  I would force myself to get up and go run for 30 minutes.  It would give me temporary relief.  Healthy eating, vitamins, amino acids, and daily exercise were failing me to defeat my depression.  My digestive system was shot and I didn’t know what to do.  Uh oh…

The Importance of Realizing You Don’t Know Everything About Depression

If you did, you probably wouldn’t be depressed right now, right?

If there is one thing I want this site to represent is that you need to open your mind to other approaches and try everything until you find the cause of your depression.  Hopefully for you that can happen right now.  For me I didn’t allow myself to consider other approaches until I wrote an agreement I’d kill myself in a year if I didn’t find the answer.  That’s when I started trying other things and I got my first glimpse of real relief from depression.  The type of relief where I had self-esteem and motivation in life.

This time the depression snuck in a little differently.  I was doing everything right.  Exercising, eating healthy, etc.  But my digestive system must have gotten trashed by whatever I ate here in Thailand.  I accepted that it was time to get a 3rd opinion.  I wasn’t the most knowledgeable when it came to digestive issues as I never had had them this serious before.  Not only that, but I had no clue that digestive issues could cause depression this serious.

I sat there for weeks and weeks trying to figure it out on my own and hoping that it would go away naturally. Then it started to progress and I got more and more depressed.  So it was time to finally admit I needed help.

Asking For Help In Any Way Possible

When you are depressed, the hardest thing in the world is to ask for help. The next hardest thing is to properly receive help.  For some reason depression warps our minds to make us believe that we don’t deserve help.

I went to the hospital here in Thailand.  I saw a regular doctor and they said that I had post infectious IBS.  After looking up IBS, it seemed like it was just as confusing as an issue as depression.  They prescribed me a probiotic and some stuff so that my digestive system didn’t freak out every time I ate some food.

I was still having some scary thoughts so I booked an online session with a life coach.

The life coach explained to me that it was alright that I was suffering a little depression right then and there.  I didn’t have to be perfect for the people reading my site in order to help them.  He also made it really clear that it was okay to ask for help.  Even the most successful people need help all the time.  A lot of successful people are successful because they have the most help.

The thing is, the life coach didn’t tell me anything new.  But it was the act of reaching out for help and receiving it that helped me realize that I am still a valuable human being.  It was me taking action for myself and not just sitting there wallowing in my pain.

Chatting With A Random Person On The Internet

You know those hotlines that are for suicide?  Why is that when I am most depressed is the time when I am least likely to use them?

I wasn’t suicidally depressed anymore, but I was still feeling crappy.  I decided to just get on there and do it.  The time difference living in Thailand didn’t allow me to talk to someone on the phone, so I chose the chat option. A new chatroom opened up with a guy named ManhattanMango.

I started talking to him.  Just saying I felt depressed and confused.  I knew that he couldn’t actually do anything for me.  It was simply the act of me reaching for help that I knew was the real benefit here.  The other person never really helps us in certain sense, it is always us helping ourselves through another person.

After 3 minutes of talking to him it made me create a username.  I made my username ManhattanMango.  As soon as I reentered the chatroom he told me that that it was confusing that we had the same name.  I told him “I know.”

After talking to this guy and having fun unloading everything onto him, I felt better.  And some guy that lives in Manhattan and eats mangos now knows everything about my fears and desires.

Naturopathic Doctor

Another problem with depression is whenever I get depressed I have this weird belief that I should hold onto every penny that I have.  One of the filters that goes through my mind is that help isn’t worth the cost.

Wait a minute… I have a few hundred dollars to spare.  And I am suicidally depressed.  Am I telling myself that the best use of that money is sitting in my wallet while my depression worsens?

Even if we looked at it purely in an accounting sense, spending a few hundred dollars to fix my depression will not only possibly save my life, but I won’t be able to even make much money while I’m depressed.  Not spending the money to fix my depression will cause me to lose out on making money.

I wish I could think like that even while I’m depressed.  But I don’t.  I didn’t seek additional help until all a sudden I got the thought of a shotgun barrel pointed at my forehead.  Oh yeah, depression isn’t about willpower TJ. You need help.

I booked an appointment with a naturopathic doctor.  I started taking digestive enzymes, phytisone, and stopped taking my current probiotic.  The strain of bacteria in it didn’t seem to be affecting my digestive system very well and I needed to take something different.  I ordered the other form.

I also needed to drastically change what I eat for a few weeks for my gut to heal.

Did I sit there analyzing everything she said? No.  I just did it.

Doing What You Know Needs To Be Done… Regardless of No Energy

I ran every single day in the sun.  Every single time it sucked.  It was the hardest thing in the world to just get out of bed.

But I knew it needed to be done.  And over time, the depression would eventually lift.

I knew I had to go get healthy meals in.  Although I would have much rather laid there and not eaten anything, I knew I had to step out the door and do it.

I knew I had to ask for help and pay a professional to fix my digestive issues.  So I did.

I knew I needed to reach out regardless of how painful it was to show another human being what I was going through. So I did.

Relief and Looking Back

Now I’m writing these words and I feel good again.  There is something magical about coming out of a depression.  It’s like that classic overused image of being in some dark, nasty, rat infested tunnel trying to climb out and suddenly you “see the light.”  You feel better and you just want to hug everyone you see because of how valuable being healthy feels.

I hadn’t been that depressed for so long I was starting to forget just how hard it is to get help and take the actions necessary to move forwards.  It all makes perfect sense when you can think straight, but when you get to the point where you are so confused the song being played at the restaurant next door starts to sound like a middle eastern war song, it’s hard to take action.

I had moments of clarity where I knew I just had to ask for help and move.  I was going to be in pain for a few days to a week and I had to ride it out.  I had to shell out a few hundred bucks to receive the attention I needed.

I came out depression free once again, but I know that if you are suffering the same thing it might seem like an impossible task to pick up the phone and call somebody.

So please, get the help you need, force yourself to take the most basic of actions towards finding the root cause of your depression, and fix it.  Then go enjoy your mangoes in Manhattan ;).

If you are suicidal chat with a hotline.  If you need help find a therapist.  If you are having physical problems find a qualified doctor.  If you need to solve your depression completely sign up for my course.  Just make that first step and know that eventually the depression will fade.

7

Why Therapy Failed Me For Years

Topics Discussed

0:35 – My Therapist That Started To Cry
1:05 – Even Good Therapists Couldn’t Cure Me
1:30 – The Books That Changed It All
2:05 – Problem With Changing Your Thoughts and Cognitive Approaches
2:20 – Depression is a State
3:30 – Depression And Negative Thoughts Are Two Sides To One Coin
4:12 – Negative Thoughts Can Be The Result Of Depression
4:43 – Other Things Work Once You’re In This State Of Mind
5:36 – In A Depressed State Its Hard For Other Things To Work
6:10 – After All Those Years Of Depression This Is What Worked For Me
7:35 – What To Do This Week

I once went to a therapist.  I went in thinking that this person was going to “fix” me.

Finally, I’ll have the cure to my depression for the rest of my life.

I went in and he asked me why I wanted to see him.  As I told him my story, he began to cry.

This actually made me feel worse, because if I made a therapist cry I probably had a messed up story.

I walked away, thinking I was going to stay depressed forever.

Although that therapist wasn’t probably using the best approach, it wasn’t the only therapist I had seen.  I actually had two other amazingly good therapists.  They really were doing a great job.

The only problem was, I still wasn’t 100%, even working with these great therapists.

That’s because depression isn’t always just the result of a cognitive problem.  In fact, if you’ve tried traditional approaches and they failed you, that’s because…

Depression Is A State

It took me so long to realize this.  So many years of my life were wasted thinking that I had to “think” differently or that there was something inherently wrong with myself and that is why I was depressed.

Then I started really looking into vitamins, minerals, amino acids, and nutrition.  I started testing my Vitamin D levels, taking a bunch of magnesium, and making sure my hormones were in check.

Suddenly, I started having positive thoughts… As if they were happening on their own!

Wait a minute… Aren’t we supposed to have to force these positive thoughts?

Don’t get me wrong.  Making sure your thoughts are based in reality is essential to living a healthy and sane life.

But changing your thoughts to fix your depression is just one side of the coin.

Negative Thoughts Are Also A “Symptom” Of Depression

There are two sides of the coin with depression and thoughts.  On the one hand, negative thought loops will make you depressed.  On the other hand, being depressed will cause negative thought loops.

It took me many years to realize there was another side to the coin.

How positive your thoughts are is also an indicator of your level of depression.

If you feel great, have a bunch of energy, just got done exercising in the sun, and have all the systems in your body running smoothly, you’re thoughts are going to reflect that.  If you have been sick for two weeks, eat McDonalds every day, have a severe Vitamin B12 deficiency, and can’t digest gluten, it’s probably a good thing you are having negative thoughts.  At least they are showing you that something is wrong so that you can look into how to fix your issue.

Realizing that thoughts are often a sign rather than the cause of your depression was one of the first steps in me being depression free.  Thoughts can cause depression, but thoughts also are a result of depression.

When Therapy Started To Work

Therapy started to work when I started fixing the physical causes for my depression.  I got to the point where I was able to implement what therapy taught me.  I had the energy to make the changes necessary in my life.  I had the mental clarity required to process new thoughts and not just think about suicide.

If you’ve been depressed for a long time it is likely that you have let relationships go, maybe haven’t showered in a couple days, and haven’t worked out in a month.  Changing those aspects of your life is critical to staying depression free.  But in a depressed state you aren’t going to have the energy to do so.

You might still get sad, but in a healthy state of mind it will just be that… Temporary sadness.  Not something that lasts 2 months straight.

I can’t work on myself or change my thoughts until my state was in a place that I could work from.

Nutrition and balancing the brain and body is the foundation upon which all the other methods began to work.

What a relief.  Finally I’m not struggling with severe pain everyday trying to do what I need to do.  Instead I can go after my goals and change my life from a place of energy.

Tried to change your thoughts for years and still depressed?  Tried to change “yourself” or “think positive” or “visualize success” and still feel like complete shit?  Then you need to look at the deeper reasons why you feel that way.  Maybe those negative thoughts are a blessing and will finally get you to fix your thyroid problem.

Seriously.  Get some tests done on your Vitamin B and D levels, check your Thyroid (especially if you have weight problems), check your sex hormones, and make sure you don’t have any food allergens.  Stop eating sugar.  Take some probiotics.  Do it this week.

0

What They Didn’t Tell You About Success

Every second that you watch the ocean shiver as it foams against the shore, your bank account is growing. The sound of the soft blue water rocks you to sleep at night and gently wakes you up in the morning. You arise without an alarm clock, hop in the Lambo and drive to your other mansion, just because you can.

If we plucked anyone off the street and gave them the above package, they’d surely be happy.

Right?

Except all wealthy people know something about that situation that you don’t. Having money isn’t the problem. More money will never solve money problems.

Success is a Process

According to the millionaire MJ DeMarco, we like to see success as an event. We see when someone sells their software company for $13 million and call them lucky. When a basketball player’s salary makes us green with envy we call him a bastard.

We forget the 2 years of the software developer’s life that he spent working 80 hours a week eating Ramen Noodles. We forget the hours of practice, injuries, and surgeries behind the ring on the basketball player’s finger.

What makes someone successful is the actual road itself.

If someone wants to get better at mountain biking, they don’t improve simply by reaching the end of the trail. Its the ruts, mind-numbing close calls, and the skin they left behind on a few rocks on the trail itself that turns them into a better rider. Getting to Point B doesn’t make you successful. Its going to Point B that makes you successful.

Success is a mindset. You don’t get stronger in weight-lifting by the weight being above your head. The contractions of your muscles while you are on your way there is what ignites the growth. It is the process of lifting the weights that makes you stronger.

If you want to invent a product and make millions, people are going to hear that and instantly dismiss it and call you a dumb ass. This might seem like a hindrance to your success.

This is exactly what you want. Resisting social pressure is an opportunity to harden the inner determination that is crucial to your development. If the road was easy, everyone would be doing it and everyone would be wealthy (which in turn would cause nobody to be wealthy).

The comments by other people don’t hurt your ability to become successful, they train you to be successful. See the common theme? In ignoring these thoughts and learning to use them for motivation, you learn to think for yourself and move forward regardless of doubt.

You need to focus on the process. Instead of focusing on becoming healthy, focus on the activities that increase health. Instead of “becoming healthy,” focus on “eating well, sleeping enough, and exercise.” Fall in love with the process, be ruthless with which processes you need to focus on, then do them.

Happiness

It’s not reaching the end of the trail or the big bank account that makes someone happy. It’s who they have to become in order to get to the end of the trail or have an endless amount of money.

It is about losing everything and being the person who can build back your assets in a few years.

Having great stuff never makes someone happy. But being great does.

Think about the kids when you were younger who were born filthy rich. If your experience is anything like mine, the majority of those kids are far more unhappy than the kids who had to work for what they wanted. Most of them lack a certain drive and appreciation for life.

It’s one thing to be born at the top of the mountain and know nothing but the view from the top. It’s another to be born haphazardly on a jagged rock near the side of a muddy yeast infected river at the bottom of the mountain, climb your ass to the top while everyone at the bottom insults your efforts, then soak in the view you’ve never seen while you catch your breath and wipe the sweat and blood from your forehead.

Do you realize there is a guy somewhere in Africa who owns absolutely nothing, who is dancing around a fire like a badass enjoying his life more than you?

Creating a great deal of money won’t magically make you happy. However, becoming the type of person who gives extreme amounts of value to others in order to make that flow of income happen, will.

Your Secret Weapon

“If you want to live like no one else, you have to live like no one else.” – Dave Ramsey

Whenever you have doubt creep in, when social pressure builds, remind yourself that in order to be extraordinary you have to do extraordinary things. You have to live like no one else.

When you’re eating veggies and your friends call you crazy for not getting a Big Mac from McDeath, you’re on the right track. When you fail for the sixth time, get depressed, then realize that this is yet again another opportunity to learn from, you’re on the right track.

The next time someone calls you crazy, smile. This is your chance to overcome social pressure and keep going.

It’s nice and enjoyable to ride down an easy smooth mountain bike trail, but it doesn’t change you. Those big ear-to-ear smiles are reserved for those trails where you are forced to avoid jagged rocks, slide out on impossible turns, yet still survive to the end.

Lifting an easy weight above your head gets the job done, but it isn’t until you lift that weight you didn’t know that was possible that your muscles are forced to break down and repair themselves.

You can be successful right now. You can hop on the the trail that’s going to challenge and push you. You can make the decision to choose what you want and make it happen no matter what. You can choose those processes you know lead to success and do them everyday and watch yourself slowly transform into the person you want to be.

Leverage (How Bad Do You Really Want It)

Okay, so you’re ready to focus on the processes of what you need to do to become what you want to become. Want a fail-proof way to f0cus on those processes? A technique that if you use it, you will accomplish anything?

Let’s say you want to start a website. Send a trustworthy friend a check for $1,000. Tell him that you are going to work on your website one hour a day and you will send him an email every night for 3 months with details on what you did. Tell him the day that he doesn’t receive an email from you he gets to spend every cent of it as fast as he can.

In 3 months, you will have a website.

Actually, that’s how I started this website.

Overcoming Depression Is The Same

Don’t expect to take a random antidepressant and be cured of everything.  That is not the way things work.  Not only that, but over the long term you are hindering your chances of life-long success if you do that.

Overcoming depression means learning about your body, solving it at the root causes, and really buckling down to see what the real reasons are for why you are depressed.

Have you checked out your Vitamin D levels? Have you stopped eating sugar? Are you exercising 3 times a week?

0

Give Yourself the Cold Shock You Deserve

Immersing yourself in icy water is an ancient tradition that is only starting to gain attention in the Western world. It’s easy to read, read, and read some more about a topic, but that will never tell you whether or not it works for you.

So I tried cold showers. Now I haven’t taken a warm shower in two months. Here is why.

Increased Testosterone

Yes, I have actually noticed an increase in symptoms of testosterone. I feel more driven, competitive, and energetic when I take cold showers.

I almost get angry now if I don’t get to take out my aggression on some wild beast during the day to relieve my testosterone levels. If I don’t lift weights I begin to take out primal anger onto all my loved ones…

Want to see what an increase in testosterone feels like? Eat real foods with lots of healthy fats (like a Paleo diet), lift weights, and take cold showers.

When I’m doing all of the above I have to lift weights. I want to grab life and make it my slave.

There is something invigorating about turning on a shower, spinning the knob to point in the blue, looking that shower head in the eye and taking the bastard on.

Motivation

Taking a cold shower seems to “harden” me and my beliefs. It is a challenge that I overcome.

I ran a marathon completely on my own a few years back. It was all a head game. I noticed during my training for my marathon I seemed to have more confidence in my life. I felt more “grounded.” When your brain is begging you to quit you have to rely on those deep inner resources that you forgot you possessed. This sessions of drawing from your inner resources pools over into other areas of life.

I would tell myself that if I couldn’t complete the last 4 miles, how could I ever do anything else?

My goal in life is to be a successful entrepreneur. Entrepreneurs are faced with extreme social pressure. It’s weird to not want a job. It’s weird to go after financial freedom. It’s crazy to not be able to spend $65 on a night out because you’re living below your means with the intent to expand your means.

I recently read an inspiring book that lead me to start taking real action in my life. For some odd reason, I wanted to check out the reviews on Amazon. I clicked the one-star reviews and read. I started to doubt again. I started to settle. I started to wonder if it is all just lies, that working a job for 40 years is really the way to go.

I had to take my night time shower and was feeling weak. I turned the shower on and it was colder than normal. As I started to get in, my breath shortened, I desperately wanted to turn it to hot water, then just stopped and said NO. Overcome your mental barriers and do it! Go through the discomfort for 5 minutes!

“If you can’t take 5 minutes of cold showers, how do you expect to run a business? Will you keep going when you lose $10,000 if you can’t even trust yourself to go through 5 minutes of discomfort in the shower?”

I got out of the shower motivated as hell, albeit a little pissed off, but not doubting myself anymore. Sounds a little crazy? Yes. Did it work? Yes.

Better Skin

I used to lather lotion all over my skin after every shower. I constantly had dry skin and would even get the occasional case of dandruff.

One time after a scolding hot shower I forgot to put lotion on. I went to work and my skin was so dry that the bottom of my feet cracked and started bleeding.

It makes sense when hot water washes away the natural oils your skin uses to keep its self hydrated and healthy. Hot water opens up your pores, essentially stripping your skin of its awesomeness.

Now the only thing I do after I shower is put a little bit of moisturizer on my face. My skin looks healthier than it has in a long time. It has the glow of a facial cream saleswoman at the mall mixed with the masculine determination of James Bond.

Wakes You Up in the Morning, Puts You Asleep at Night

When I wake up and take a cold shower, it kicks my manhood into overdrive. The day goes from being a sunny, pleasant afternoon to a beast that is to be dominated and subdued. I begin to think about all the tasks I need to do and go after them with the focus of a predator on its soon to be sorry prey.

At night when I take a cold shower, it wakes me up for about 5 minutes, then a sledgehammer from the heavens comes down on my pineal gland releasing a surge of melatonin to run loose on my vulnerable nervous system. Wrapping myself up in a cocoon of blankets is so much more enticing coming from an ice cold shower, waiting to hatch into the violent butterfly I am when I awaken…

Less Time in the Shower

Do you ever get into the shower only to get out an hour later?

I used to have a problem when I took showers. I’d always end up being in there for a good 20 minutes. I would literally tell myself, “I’m going to get out of the shower in 30 seconds.. 29… 28..” then when I got to 10 I would count really slow or forget that I was counting.

Cold showers are the exact opposite. As soon as you get used to the cold water on your chest you flip around and it hits your back and sends loving discipline throughout your soul. Instead of sitting in a shower that is steaming me like the healthy broccoli that’s awaiting me in the kitchen, I get my rush then get out and destroy the day, or let the night destroy me.

Help With Depression

Sometimes taking a cold shower is enough to rattle me and wake me up.  I never take a cold shower if I am feeling weak or have a low immune system as that would just destroy me, but taking a dose of cold water for a few minutes is enough to turn on a bunch of hormonal cycles within the body that fight off depression.

Give cold showers a try. Some claim that they can even help ease antidepressant withdrawals. You might hate them and never go back. But give it a week. They might just give you that sexy little shock that you need.

2

How to Get High (Accidentally) Off Amino Acids

I was experimenting with taking Tryptophan for sleep.  When I take L-Tryptophan at night, I can tell that the effect carries over into the next day.  It’s as if the serotonin production continues even after I wake up.

I decided to take another Tryptophan right when I woke up without eating.  I did some deep relaxation for about an hour then ate an apple.  I continued throughout my day and started feeling really good.  This prompted me to realize it was the Tryptophan, so I went out and did sprints, played basketball, then came home and was feeling so much enjoyment out of life and the outdoors I called my friend to go mountain biking.

I came  home, ate a little tiny meal and took a couple Mood Support pills with a high quality B Vitamin.  I went mountain biking and nature just looked so amazing. My thoughts started to change… After the Mood Support things began to get a little odd…

I went to my friends house, washed off the bike, and just started feeling way too good.  I was calmer than I had ever been and was staring off into the trees with deep wonder.  I started driving home and music sounded amazing.  I started feeling random emotions and remembering things from my past.

High Off Amino Acids

As I was driving home I realized I was actually high.  I was flying like a kite.  It almost felt like a low dose of mushrooms – like a surge of serotonin pumping through my brain.  I started laughing with amazement out of everything.

I went home and just started hanging out with myself.  I was having a blast just hanging out being me, all by my lonesome.

So do Amino Acids work? I am not skeptical at all after that experience.  There is even a huge section on Longecity for amino acids such as Tryptophan, 5-HTP, etc.  Longecity is a website where people discuss nootropics, drugs and herbs that increase your brain power or mood without being harmful.

People actually take 5-HTP to help ease their MDMA withdrawal.

I could always tell they were slightly working, but it wasn’t until that day that I knew for a fact that they work.  They actually got me HIGH.

I wouldn’t do this again because I don’t want my brain to build up a tolerance to these amino acids. That would be the worse thing for me to do – make my brain gain tolerance for the amino acids that produce happiness.  However, I swore I knew they were working, but I didn’t want to delude myself just in case it was a placebo.

Test it For Yourself if You Have To

Don’t take high doses of amino acids all the time. Don’t be depleting your serotonin stores if you have depression! However, if you want to see for yourself the effects that amino acids can have, try this:

• Upon waking up in the morning, drink some water and eat an apple.
• Take a high quality B-Vitamin.
• Take a few Mood Support capsules, L-Tryptophan, 5-HTP, or any other amino acid in that category.
• Go for a walk or just hang tight with no food for a while and see what happens.

After that, you will know if amino acids have an effect on you!