Suicidal Thoughts Every Day for 33 Years to Relief | Charlene’s Success Story
Tired of being numb.
Tired of being depressed while still on medications.
Charlene emailed me telling me she was coming off of her meds.
She started a few basic supplements and cut out dairy, gluten and sugar.
L-tyrosine didn’t work, so she tried l-tryptophan.
Then she cut out all her meds completely and starting taking vitamins, l-tryptophan, 5-htp, and ashwagandha.
12 days off the meds she started to have genuine laughter while watching movies after her mother told her she couldn’t remember the last time Charlene laughed.
I was 9 years-old when I began having suicidal thoughts and began believing negative things about myself. Having been bullied and assaulted at school, molested at home, and shy to the point of being what I believed was invisible to people, I had enough ammunition to build my arsenal of negative beliefs about myself.
33 years later as I look back on my journey with depression, a lot has happened. There wasn’t a single day, even the happy ones, when I didn’t think about ending my life. Not a single day. It had become such a part of me, it was my normal.
I first got counseling and medication when I entered college. I worked to pay for it all out of my own pocket. Family would not help. They didn’t believe in mental illness. To them I just had no faith in God.
Hearing Voices & Breaking Down in Public
You name the symptom, I experienced it. From hearing voices telling me to hurt myself to breaking down in tears in public. I’ve been through it all. I was taken to the emergency room a few times with depressive, suicidal episodes and admitted myself to the psych unit. There were times when I was so depressed I stopped speaking. It didn’t matter to me when people were speaking to me because I just wanted them to hear my pain and do something about it, but no one ever did.
So how did I get to the point where I was willing to give up on medication? I was taking my daughter to see a new prescribing doctor one day. She also has a mental illness and needed to get her medication.
When we entered the office we were told that the doctor would not see my daughter because we were late. I looked at the clock. We were 10 seconds late. I stood there absolutely incredulous. This person with no conscience whatsoever refused to see a child who needed medication to keep her mood stable or she would hurt herself because we were 10 seconds late.
I’d been getting counseling and medication at this location for many years and believed that they would give her the same care. That day I was done. I knew I would never go back, not even to see my own counselor or doctor.
Later that same day, I don’t recall how, I found Dominate Depression and TJ Nelson. I believe it was meant to be because I not only refused to return to the facility, I felt deeply in my heart that life had to be better than what I was living.
Making The Decision To Quit Medications
The medication made me feel like a zombie. I was still suicidal and sad on my medication and I have tried just about every depression medication in varying combinations for 24 years. Enough was enough. I knew that my medication would run out eventually and it seemed that weaning off them and taking supplements made sense for me.
I tried various supplements mentioned on the site, but some made me feel loopy. Then I tried L-Tryptophan. Bingo! After a few days, I became a new person.
2 months after finding Dominate Depression I sent TJ an email telling him that for the first time in my life I felt human. The constant medicated feeling was gone. The brain fog, the memory loss, the depression, and hallelujah, some of the weight was gone.
Off Medications With A New Life Ahead
I’ve been completely off my medications for over 2 months. I’m so happy for my new start without depression. I have a new life, full of wonderful possibilities that don’t include the fear of breaking down and the lack of emotional control that kept me from doing so many things. I have no doubt that I’m done living under that cloud.
There are times when I almost want to grieve for the 33 years of pain I endured, but that would take me right back into depression. From now there’s only joy. Life isn’t perfect all the time, but I can face the ups and downs as a much stronger woman.
I am so thankful for TJ. His bravery in sharing his experience with depression has made such a difference in my life. I can only do the same for someone else. When you feel this good, you want to pass it on.