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Why Therapy Failed Me For Years

Topics Discussed

0:35 – My Therapist That Started To Cry
1:05 – Even Good Therapists Couldn’t Cure Me
1:30 – The Books That Changed It All
2:05 – Problem With Changing Your Thoughts and Cognitive Approaches
2:20 – Depression is a State
3:30 – Depression And Negative Thoughts Are Two Sides To One Coin
4:12 – Negative Thoughts Can Be The Result Of Depression
4:43 – Other Things Work Once You’re In This State Of Mind
5:36 – In A Depressed State Its Hard For Other Things To Work
6:10 – After All Those Years Of Depression This Is What Worked For Me
7:35 – What To Do This Week

I once went to a therapist.  I went in thinking that this person was going to “fix” me.

Finally, I’ll have the cure to my depression for the rest of my life.

I went in and he asked me why I wanted to see him.  As I told him my story, he began to cry.

This actually made me feel worse, because if I made a therapist cry I probably had a messed up story.

I walked away, thinking I was going to stay depressed forever.

Although that therapist wasn’t probably using the best approach, it wasn’t the only therapist I had seen.  I actually had two other amazingly good therapists.  They really were doing a great job.

The only problem was, I still wasn’t 100%, even working with these great therapists.

That’s because depression isn’t always just the result of a cognitive problem.  In fact, if you’ve tried traditional approaches and they failed you, that’s because…

Depression Is A State

It took me so long to realize this.  So many years of my life were wasted thinking that I had to “think” differently or that there was something inherently wrong with myself and that is why I was depressed.

Then I started really looking into vitamins, minerals, amino acids, and nutrition.  I started testing my Vitamin D levels, taking a bunch of magnesium, and making sure my hormones were in check.

Suddenly, I started having positive thoughts… As if they were happening on their own!

Wait a minute… Aren’t we supposed to have to force these positive thoughts?

Don’t get me wrong.  Making sure your thoughts are based in reality is essential to living a healthy and sane life.

But changing your thoughts to fix your depression is just one side of the coin.

Negative Thoughts Are Also A “Symptom” Of Depression

There are two sides of the coin with depression and thoughts.  On the one hand, negative thought loops will make you depressed.  On the other hand, being depressed will cause negative thought loops.

It took me many years to realize there was another side to the coin.

How positive your thoughts are is also an indicator of your level of depression.

If you feel great, have a bunch of energy, just got done exercising in the sun, and have all the systems in your body running smoothly, you’re thoughts are going to reflect that.  If you have been sick for two weeks, eat McDonalds every day, have a severe Vitamin B12 deficiency, and can’t digest gluten, it’s probably a good thing you are having negative thoughts.  At least they are showing you that something is wrong so that you can look into how to fix your issue.

Realizing that thoughts are often a sign rather than the cause of your depression was one of the first steps in me being depression free.  Thoughts can cause depression, but thoughts also are a result of depression.

When Therapy Started To Work

Therapy started to work when I started fixing the physical causes for my depression.  I got to the point where I was able to implement what therapy taught me.  I had the energy to make the changes necessary in my life.  I had the mental clarity required to process new thoughts and not just think about suicide.

If you’ve been depressed for a long time it is likely that you have let relationships go, maybe haven’t showered in a couple days, and haven’t worked out in a month.  Changing those aspects of your life is critical to staying depression free.  But in a depressed state you aren’t going to have the energy to do so.

You might still get sad, but in a healthy state of mind it will just be that… Temporary sadness.  Not something that lasts 2 months straight.

I can’t work on myself or change my thoughts until my state was in a place that I could work from.

Nutrition and balancing the brain and body is the foundation upon which all the other methods began to work.

What a relief.  Finally I’m not struggling with severe pain everyday trying to do what I need to do.  Instead I can go after my goals and change my life from a place of energy.

Tried to change your thoughts for years and still depressed?  Tried to change “yourself” or “think positive” or “visualize success” and still feel like complete shit?  Then you need to look at the deeper reasons why you feel that way.  Maybe those negative thoughts are a blessing and will finally get you to fix your thyroid problem.

Seriously.  Get some tests done on your Vitamin B and D levels, check your Thyroid (especially if you have weight problems), check your sex hormones, and make sure you don’t have any food allergens.  Stop eating sugar.  Take some probiotics.  Do it this week.