I’m going to be honest here. I’ve studied some pickup before. And it kind of made me a weird ass.
I was just lonely and tired of being lonely so I was trying all sorts of weird things to connect with people.
This post is from a long time ago and I have since moved on from trying to randomly date as many people as possible, but it still was important for me at the time.
I think I had more anxiety towards women after studying how to approach women.
Yes, I got some results.
But something just was not right. It was as if I was portraying something else. It was actually protecting myself from really getting rejected, and from really creating a connection with other people.
I was objectifying the whole process.
So I said screw it, I’m going to go out and try being brutally me right in girls’ faces.
Being Brutally Honest with Women at the Mall
The first girl I approached straight on, looked her right in the eyes and said, “Hey. I’m TJ. I had depression and cured it naturally.”
She loved it. She responded, “Really? That’s cool! I’m from Israel. I used to eat really healthy.”
What? Why would someone be attracted to you if you had a history of depression?!
We created a real connection. I wasn’t lying at all. I wasn’t being some weird alternate form to try and get her to approve of me. It was real. I later complimented her, because I wanted to. Not to try and “increase her attraction.”
Update: Even though our conversation was short, I later saw her at the mall. She waved at me with the biggest smile I’d seen all week. I honestly felt like I knew her as a long lost friend from talking with her for 5 minutes honestly then what would have happened over a year of bullshit.
Younger Brother Steps it Up
I was with my younger brother at the time and he wanted to test it out as well. So we decided that he should go up to a girl and straight up tell her what he’s been doing lately. He walks up like a pimp that he is and says, “Hey I’m Brady. I’ve been playing way too much Madden NFL 2010 lately.”
Normally you would think that playing a video game for large amounts of time would be unattractive, but later on in the conversation this girl started hitting on him. She started to hint at him saying things such as, “You know, I’ve played Call of Duty before…”
My friend somehow got a hook up to a really awesome party just because my friend is, well, awesome. I decided to be straight up and honest again since it was such a relief to just let go and be me.
I acted almost irreverent. I was 110% TJ baby. I did not care whether or not she liked it, I talked openly about everything.
We later sat down next to some other people and instead of trying to pull some weird pick up techniques we were just us, there, having a good time and looking to get to know them.
Why This Works
Have you ever known a girl that would cling to you? Maybe it was fun at first, but after a while it felt like you were her only source of happiness?
That you could do whatever you want, take advantage of her, and she wouldn’t care?
Did you ever feel like you really knew this person? Did you trust them? When you asked them questions, could you tell they manipulated their answer to sound more pleasing to you?
How do you think girls (or if you are a girl, guys, but it’s easier for me this way dammit) feel when they know everything you are doing is to get them to approve of you? That you don’t have any value of your own to offer but only want them to validate you so you feel worthy?
The paradox of all this is that again, you shouldn’t “be yourself” because its “going to get me lotz of gurlz!” You should be yourself because you owe it to yourself.
You owe it to yourself to be with people that love and appreciate who you are. You owe it to yourself to be with people that you (not your friends or family) think are awesome.
Maybe your friends think Susie is a total babe and Sarah is just alright. However, you feel awesome with Sarah and Susie is kind of a bitch. Who should you hang out with?
I always respect the person that is honest with others and lives their own life. When people see you confidently being you just because you are damn good at being you, they are going to realize they can be themselves as well. They are going to see that you are real and it will be like a breath of fresh air to have a real conversation with a real person. Even if they don’t like you, they are probably secretly envious of you. It doesn’t matter what you have. It just matters that you are you and do what you fucking love.
That is just a random girl that my friend Juan talked to. To be honest I took this picture just to look cool and get your approval.
No need to impress anyone. Just do you.